I have read many of the stories here. Its funny I never read any of these where somebody has said to themselves that at that exact moment that they are feeling so down and out that someone else in the world is a lot worse off. I don’t say this to be mean, Its just something I have learned to use in my own life “empathy”. I know the daily struggle of suicide. I myself have been locked away in the bin a few times. I too am a cutter and burner and lots of hitting in the head and face. I have thoughts of hurting others. I don’t leave my home if I don’t have too. I hate the outside world and most people in it. So I will share my story and maybe somebody can use it to help them get through another day. We all have our pains and they are all equally important. I just use a few things to help me when I”m really feeling like ending it.
So when I was a young boy my mother  stabbed and burnt me with cigars and cigarettes. I’m in my late 30’s now and some the burns still hurt to touch.  She poured battery acid on me and held me under water. I was taken away and adopted. Growing up I was very confused and had my first serious suicide attempt at 14 and several in between until 18 then I almost made it from overdose (doc said 5 more min and I was done). In the years just prior to my first serious attempt I was made to perform oral sex on many grown men while they put  a knife to my neck. I am a guy so this was very traumatic. After that attempt I moved away from my adopted family to live elsewhere. I never fit in with them as one can imagine some adopted children feel. Especially because I knew I was adopted so I suffer with the identity crisis, ptsd, depression, borderline split personality etc many more. i met my bio family when 19 and then the next big blow my bio mother and I had sex. So if you can kinda do the math i’m really messed up in the head and have good reasons for wanting to die, but also have good reasons to live. Granted the bad days out weigh the good. There is a lot more to the story but just wanted to give you the biggest points out of my life that have %^&^$% totally up.
I hope all of you will have the best lives people like us can. I know the struggle, try and find some methods that may make you realize its just not worth it sometimes to end it all. Green is always good for chilling out 🙂