She doesn’t know
How much farther
She can go
Before its all over.
Â
She wants people To notice her, How far will she go Before she will see the light.Â
She stands alone Thinking of ways to go Because she thinks People don’t see her.Â
She realizes that In this battle Of life and death No one is there for her.Â
As the light Grows brighter She sees the End is near.Â
She knows what She has to do, All that’s left Is saying good-byeÂ
She closes her eyes And counts to three, And before she knows it Her life is Done.Â
She didn’t think How this would Affect the people Who are around her.Â
She doesn’t realize That those who Look up to her Are going to try this themselvesÂ
She didn’t know That a seven year old Would take the blame Of this tragic event.Â
She just thought Of only herself And only of what She thought was Her only way out.
25 comments
She is in a bad situation and might want to talk about it.
Hey,
Need her #. oobiedoobiebwaha@yahoo.com
Hey, SMR need your #. oobiedoobiebwaha@yahoo.com
smr. reaching out. what’s up?
Everything is falling apart, and nothing is making it any better
Tell me what’s going on?
I am a failure in my parents eyes, my “friends” think that I am out to make their lives hell, I am pretty sure that I ruined one of my friends friendship with her best friend from home, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, I haven’t gotten out of bed in two days because I see no point in going to any of my classes, I am going to fail out of school just like my parents told me I would, I have no real friends, the medicine I am on isn’t helping me, I hate myself, I hate everything that I say, I hate everything that I do, I hate everything that I have done/doing…Do I need to go on?
No, kind of been there and done that one. Go on.
Get it out
Sorry, usually do talking via phone. This posting stuff is kind of new to me. Kind of, well not really, but kind of. Blink
Any way I can help it?
If you had more confidence in yourself then what your friends and family thought of you would be inconsequential. That’s the place to start because although you can’t always change the way others view you, you can change the way you feel about yourself. Worry about them afterwards.
I feel like I am dependent on everyone around me because I have been on crutches for two weeks and can’t do anything for myself. I can’t even go to the bathroom or take a shower, without someone going to open the door for me. My mom calls and yells at me everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. People from home ridicule and make fun of me online. I am hated by my older siblings from taking the spot of the baby. I am called the oops baby by everyone in my family, and on top of that most of my family say that it was a mistake to keep me (including my grandparents). I don’t trust anyone, not even myself, and I just don’t know how much more I can take of anything.
I don’t think that I will ever view myself differently then I do now. I have thought this way about myself since I can remember.
It won’t always be that way
I would do this over the phone, but I don’t have a place to talk, I would only be able to text, and most people don’t like texting
You know. Failure is an odd word. What happens when we fail? We fall, stumble, crawl around. Maybe lie on the ground for a little while. Trying to recoup from the failure. But, what makes a person accomplished is the will to get back up and keep going. Your friends are your friends. If they stand with you, then you know they are true. Don’t take them for granted. If they’re there for you when you need them, reciprocate. Lend an ear. Tell them they’re appreciated and why. Say thank you. If they don’t stand with you, then they aren’t your friends.
Getting out of bed is swinging one leg out and then the other. Placing one foot on the ground then the next. Then standing. Then moving forward. Even if it is painful. Even if it feels like you’ve got nothing left to give. You move forward inch by inch if you have to. Until the muscles loosen up. Until your movement becomes fluid again. It may take time to do. It might hurt, but it will be worth it.
Failing out of school. School will always be there. School is an on going never ending process. Life is our school. School isn’t determined by grades alone. It helps in the classroom, but you can’t judge an intelligence by a grade. It’s the experience that matters. You can always move forward with school when you’re ready. Just don’t become complacent in your life. And you will learn. And you will learn to keep trying. And in that trying, THAT is where you will succeed. That is the true definition of success. And your parents would be wrong. Because you didn’t fail. You still learned. Even if you “failed”. You learn how to do it better the next time. That in and of itself is learning. That’s school.
The medicine. Change tactics. If one medicine isn’t working then change the medicine. Or change the doctor. Change tactics. If something doesn’t succeed the first time, then change the vantage point and go at it again. This is applicable to life, not just the medicine. If something isn’t working properly, find a way to change it. Even if it means asking for help.
Not everything that you say is bad. I seriously doubt that. Even if the glass is half empty, it still has water in it, which isn’t bad. A half glass of water is better than no glass of water. So, it isn’t bad. It’s how you are feeling. How you’re perspective is, at that given moment. And that moment will change. It will turn around. It will become better. And then your words and laughter will return. And the things that you say that were bad will dissipate in people’s minds. They won’t go away fully. The hurt will always be there for them, BUT if you make a conscious effort to change, they may be willing to overlook the hurtful things you said, done are doing.
But you have to make the effort. Even if you fail. You have to try. You will stumble again. You will fall. But you have to keep trying. There in lies your success.
@optimal: Wow. Thanks for all that. 🙂 I’m just a passenger here but that really resonated.
thanks for your help, but honestly, I have felt this way for years. Everyday people tell me it is going to get better, and yes, somedays it does seem like everything is looking up, but majority of the time i feel like the world is taking a massive crap on me and i am supposed to just live with taking all the hardship from everyone in life. It has gotten to the point, where I have to go and find an empty classroom on campus just so I can cry without anyone making fun of me or calling me names. My roommate doesn’t even make things any better, she calls me stupid, idiot, good for nothing, always telling me that I should die so she can get a 4.0, it goes on and on everyday all day.
SMR-I know how you feel. I’ve been depressed my entire life. My family thinks I’m the biggest screwup on earth. My life is an endless pile of people screwing me over, bullying me, abusing me, etc. Everytime things look okay, the craziest things happen. I mean things that literally don’t happen to anyone else-and they just keep happening.
I was afraid to leave the house today because I didn’t want people looking at me. But you know…..I’m still here. I really don’t want to be but something is stopping me. Stick around please? Because I don’t know how to survive my life and suffering with others seems to at least make me think that maybe it isn’t me or my fault.
You aren’t a mistake. No one is ever a mistake, SMR. No one. Everyone brings something to the table. Everyone has something to offer. Asking for help…maybe they have something to learn out of this. Maybe they need to change their vantage point. You may never know what good may come out of you being on crutches. It could be nothing. It could be something though. Remember, they could end up on crutches one day as well. And when that time comes, be there for them. Help them. Treat people how you want to be treated. Help them if they need it. Even if they ridicule you or hurt you. Help them anyway. Even if they annoy you. Do it with a smile. They may remember how they treated you and apologize one day. Maybe not. Even if they don’t, you still put forth the effort to help another person. Even when no one was willing to help you.
Trust yourself. You know exactly what to do. What needs to be done. Keep trying. Keep trying to smile. No matter how much it hurts. No matter how much they ridicule you, keep trying. If people aren’t saying nice things about you online, do some self examination as to why. Is it something you’ve done? Could you change the situation somehow? Or is it just because they’re being jerks? If it’s because they are being jerks, move forward. Move on. They aren’t worth your energy. If there is something that you find that you want to fix about yourself then make the effort to fix it as best you possibly can.
Sorry, tendency to ramble.
i just don’t know how much more of them i can handle without flipping out and saying something that I would never mean in a million years.
and @emptiness thanks for joining in, the only person keeping me alive right now is my niece, because I could never do anything that would hurt her
Then focus on your niece SMR. If she’s the focal point of the positivity then focus on her. If you need to remove yourself from the situation with your other family members then do so. Or, you can calmly, cooly, collectively tell them how you feel. Make it known but do it in a nice way. No reason to be rude or crass. Flipping out will only hurt you in the long run. And it will hurt them. And then animosity will grow and get worse between you. That is never a good thing. Ever. It can’t be undone once it’s said. Ever. So, step back if you need to. Or try to explain what’s bothering you about what they’re saying. Worth a try. Never know what the results might be.
I appreciate all your help and support, but this is something that ultimately is my decision. No I am not going to kill myself tonight, but I don’t know what I am going to do in the coming days. I must think on it, and hope to god that something changes.
Don’t just hope to God that something changes, SMR. Believe it. It can happen. I know you don’t know what you are going to do in the coming days…and if you don’t, get back on here. Ask for help. Get some help. It’s why something like this exists. To help. It helped me. It can help you. It talked me down. It can help to talk you down, too. Pretty sure it can. Positive it can. Believe. Don’t just hope. Believe.