Talking to you

Today I told my mother I was depressed and, at times, suicidal. About 5 years ago my father committed suicide, throwing himself off of the roof of his office building. My family was and still is devistated. A few years ago one of my best friends hung himself. I have had many issues with close friends and girlfriends rejecting me after getting to know me. My family is not very open about their feelings and myself being the only male makes it very hard for me to talk about this stuff.

I was 17 when my father left. I am now 23 and have been feeling empty, rejected, worthless, etc for many years. When I told my Mother, it was extremely hard. I could tell she was facing the thought of losing another family member to taking their own life. Through talking about it I realized that there ARE things in life worth experiencing, no matter at what age or what situation.

First you need to talk about it though. I’m sure I would not have thought that life was worth living had I kept my feelings to myself as I always do. Find someone who you know cares about you and be real with them. I promise, letting someone know how you feel will lift so much weight off your shoulders. Humans need to feel the care of others in order to be happy. You can’t beat this alone; and you don’t know that you want to until you try. Please. Find that person now and tell them. I am going to seek therapy and work on my attitude on life.