What do you do in place of self harming.how do you not think about self harming,being sad,wanting to die, loneliness,and other things like that

A few weeks ago I went to therapy and my therapist was giving me substitues for self harming. But i find her substitutes un-useful to me. She told me to snap a rubber band on my arm,write out why I’m upset,or talk to someone. The reason these methods don’t work is because if I use a rubber band I do it until I break skin and see blood which is pretty much the same as cutting or burning. I’m tired of writing out what I feel because I honestly don’t know what I’m upset about most of the time. I also really don’t have anyone to talk to and I kind of suck at exsplaining my feelings.

Earlier today I was with a friend and she was telling me that when shes upset she uses red sharpy to draw over her cut marks and simulate making more.So write now I’m feeling like lonley and upset so I used red paint and traced all my scars and it kind of helped but not really. So I want to know when your feeling upset or you feel like you want to self harm what do you do to stop thinking about it or what do you substitute in place of actually doing it. I very much am trying not to self harm anymore but I’m addicted and it’s very hard to just stop.