For all who understand, i speak for you. People are always saying oh it will get better, you’ll get through this. But have they ever felt this way? have they gone through this? Those are empty words. You can’t say that it will get better, why? because you don’t know my story, you don’t know what I have to live with, and you can’t see the future. I know you’re trying to help. But your words are empty and blank to me. I don’t need help. I don’t want help. I need to know that someone is here to listen, to show they care. I want someone to listen. Truth be told, you can’t help me. I’ve tried. Life goes on. Mine, not for long. But I’m always here to listen, and I’m not going to lie and say things get better, because honestly, i don’t fucking know. But i do know that I’m always here to listen.
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Fallenangel33; This is why I think for someone to help you, they have to understand you. In order for them to fully understand you, they would have had to gone through what you gone through. For that to happen, you need to explain your story- but you haven’t told much people because you want to tell someone you feel that cares and won’t abandon you… (this is how I feel at the moment anyways, not sure if this applies to you as well). I’m going to tell you something I believe is true, but I will have to admit this: I can’t even help myself with my own advice. Anyways: I believe the best person that will “fix” these troubles in you, is YOU. You don’t want help, and no one understands anyways-
Though for me, I feel like i’m making it harder for me to get better. If you need to talk (If you want, i’ll just be here to listen and nothing more since you wanted no help) i’ll be here.
I’ll lisent if you want to tell, i know how hard is to keep in your mind that things will get better -bullshit actually- so i would like to lisent
Saying to someone “it’ll get better” just dismisses their pain and hurt. It devalues the person who is suffering. And you are absolutely right, no one can ever know what will happen, even if they have gone through a similar situation, they are still different people to you!
The value of talking to people who listen without judgement, who genuinely try and understand YOUR point of view and YOUR feelings is invaluable. Not because they can fix it (they can’t), but because when you feel someone else understands, it takes a lot of the angst away. And often in talking about your situation, you have the opportunity to listen to yourself, and eventually get some clarity on how to more forward.
The funny thing is, you can’t give yourself that attention and understanding. The word’s best therapist cannot give therapy to themselves!
fallenangel,
You offered to listen. Which will help someone else. In doing so make the connection to share your feelings so that either they or another listener can do the same for you.
And share your issues directly and clearly. So the person can get to the meat of the matter.
All you can do is your best and decide to be happy amidst the circumstances of life. It’s a choice, and it’s tough..I hear ya. Life is paradox, humour, and change. So I do my best to look for the humourous. Take care.