Confused and scared…

I think your logic is pretty backwards, actually. If you try to hide your emotions and don’t openly tell people how you feel, you can’t turn around and blame them for not noticing. Either you’re a better actress than you think and you’re really fooling these people, or even if they can sense that something is wrong, they choose to trust you and believe you when you tell them that you are okay. So you kinda lie to people, tell them that you’re okay, go cut yourself, and then when people get upset to hear that you are hurting yourself, you ask yourself whether or not these people love you? That makes no sense. He’s upset that you hurt yourself, obviously he cares to some extent. He may love you or he may just see you as a friend, I don’t know him, but he definitely cares. You’re looking at it totally the wrong way. What kind of reaction was he supposed to have to prove that he cares? Be happy that you’re cutting? Tell you that he thinks it’s awesome? He’s disappointed that you are hurting yourself and that means he wants you to be happy.

Don’t blame other people for not understanding you. Tell the truth when you aren’t feeling great. Don’t expect people to read your mind or to know when you are or aren’t pretending. And stop cutting, it’s truly pointless. Next time you’re angry do some pushups or go for a run. Exercise releases the same kind of feel-good chemicals that are released when we feel the relief of cutting.