Ever since i was a kid, maybe 8 or so, i have been self harming (i guess i can call it that). when i was younger and got super pissed or upset or something, i would bite my hand as hard as i could. kinda weird, i know. something about that physical pain was almost soothing. As i grew older i started to punch things instead of biting myself. i would punch things until my knuckles couldnt take anymore. that was my method for years, until recently i started burning (aka branding). Im almost 18 now and i just realized that i have been physically hurting myself to cope with my emotions for most of my life. Not a fun realization.
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MY self harm cycle went like this: Age 11-pinching skin age 12,13-cutting age 14,15-punching walls (broke my hand) age 16 twisting fingers sideways age 17 none
I also realized that since being a little kid I also have been self harming myself. I realized it when I started cutting. I still self harm and just like you I would always hurt myself worse the next year.