I decided to write on SP… I’m lonely right now. I have nothing to do… I should go to bed, but I am restless. I really want to see Jasmine, but I guess even though she’s the most important person in my life, it doesn’t matter, since society will just make me feel bad for having my own desires and stuff. Whatever then, I’m still waiting on my dad to get me a psychiatrist to analyze my head, hope I can get some pills or something to help me. Or i just need to not be alone at all times. I seem fine when in public… Not sure if something is wrong with me, maybe I’m not caring right now. My minds shutting down, I really don’t care. This music I’m listening to is boring me…Â
My school life, that’s just plain horrible. Bad grades all the way. At least tomorrow I can go to my self defense class to handle my stress and get a workout. I was hoping it was a gym so I could go every day. I guess not…Â
Um, not much else to say here. I love Jasmine still, haven’t changed, and haven’t seen her. I have $70 on me and I’m contemplating buying a new video game, weed, spend it with my cousins at the movies or something, or save it. I’m not sure, I have $20 a week from my dad for food, I rarely eat except $2-3 during lunch at school, sometimes i buy chips after school and rarely eat my stepmom’s shit food. Not very healthy, but i barely do any exercise.Â
Um… Yeah that’s it, I met some girl on the internet, she’s from Alaska. I’m from California, we’re talking through facebook, still feel lonely though, especially since she’s a cute blonde gamer. I met her on Modern Warfare 3. I read that 43% of gamers are female nowadays. It used to be like 5% or less. Suddenly it’s a dramatic increase. Except there’s like 1-2 girls in every 16 player lobby, how does that compute? Anyways, comment on my post, I’m lonely and an attention man whore.Â
6 comments
hey i could talk. i can understand how it is to feel lonely– on the outside and on the inside. i also seem fine when im with others but deeep indside its just a show i put on for others. i have been around the block with meds and treatment and i have yet to feel any better. im starting to not believe in doctors. i have to make MYSELF better some how. atleast you found someone to talk to on facebook. doesnt that make you feel better? some people honestly dont have anyone.
She stopped talking to me 5 minutes in… Yeah weed has helped me. But i rarely use it. And i dont have a steady supply or much money. I want to find out what I have especially if I have OCD like everyone says. Apparently my love for my cousin is completely false. I guess love is fake wrong and useless.
ive never tried weed so i wouldnt know. i have thought of trying it, sometimes the negative feelings get so bad that i think about ANYTHING that could bring some relief even if its temporary. it wouldnt hurt to go see a psychiatrist or something. it might work for you.
Why the fuck do you care what society thinks? This is the third time I’ve tried to get that through to you. I’m done. Society is clearly not the problem here; the problem is your own doubt.
43% of women are “gamers” because facebook and mobile-phone games are included in the study you’re referencing. Considering that 700 million people exist on facebook, and taking into account the boom in smart-phone sales over the last 5 years, the statistic is obviously not relevant with respect to games like COD.
.. Not a great place to pick up girls; just saying.
43% of “gamers” are women.. even.
I see and. I don’t pick them up just meet them.