Where there’s failure and disappoinment in myself, there’s a cut
Where’s there’s sadness and self hatred to the extreme, there’s a cut
Where there’s punishment deserved and then some, there’s a cut
And when the person you hope would save you is but a fantasy, there’s a cut
But when you run out of space and you can’t cut, there’s the urge
And when your friend tells you how proud he is, and that’s not what you deserve, there’s the urge
And when you screwed up again and you know you deserve this pain, there’s the urge
Where you’re completely alone, and you have no one to hold, there’s the urge
Just something I wrote in an attempt to fight the urge. This day reminded me of why I have the ability to have so much self hatred. There’s nothing I desire more than to slash away at my arms; but I’m trying to make it to a month with no cuts. Here’s hoping and praying I don’t cave later on.
2 comments
I was able to stop two seperate times each for a month. I was very proud of myself but I caved in and started again. I wouldn’t just try to wait a month…try for like three months. MAybe by then the urge will lessen. I have teh urge all the time but I’m still a cutter. I wish I had the strength to stop.
Try and take each day at a time. Don’t set a long term goal – it’s too far away. Just think if I can just make it through today, each day. Then you will not only have set your goal but achieved your goal and that gives you confidence to make it through another day. You can do it.