My story

I’m 41 yo female, I don’t have any kids. My family don’t talk to me. I have been formally diagnosed with aspergers. I have a low grade glioma in my brain stem (superior colliculus). I have a chiari 1 malformation. Both the tumour and chiari cause migraines, nausea and anxiety. I’m depressed, and everyone I speak to says that is understandable given my situation. I havent any friends – thanks to a combination of my aspergers and terminal illness. People walk away as if it’s catching or something. I’ve tried phoning helplines but all they do is tell me to see a psychologist or try deep breathing exercises. I see a psych regularly. Hes doing what he can, but it’s not enough. This website has a link – if you’re feeling suicidal read it first. Ive given myself the time out, the 24 hours, in fact I’ve delayed suicide for nearly a year. I hate my life. Every part of it. The only people I have to talk to are paid to talk to me.
Forgot to say, I’m homeless, living in a temporary women’s shelter.
All my future holds is more symptoms from the tumour and chiari. More pain. Why do I need to live? Why is it so important to the police? The hospital psych? Nobody except the people who are paid to talk to me would attend my funeral anyway, and I’m sure most wouldn’t bother.