Tag:

Suicide

waiting for a moment

by grandiloquence 5/14/2023

written by grandiloquence

there was a point where i stopped feeling so depressed. it felt like coming up for a breath after a long dive in the ocean. or like a foggy window, where the middle was finally wiped so i could properly see out of it. my head felt clearer. i didn’t feel so muddled in the dark. i felt nothing. or more so, i didn’t feel that depression anymore.

i could be happy, angry, or sad without feeling that depression. it was extremely weird; it was such a strange feeling. i had spent literally every day for at least 3 years feeling depressed. every, single, day. then […]

5/14/2023 0 comment

25 minutes remaining

by johnny2good 4/24/2023

written by johnny2good

I ruined my moms paradise. “Youre just like your father, you came into my paradise and ruined it”. I was homeless and between jobs. I helped around the house, I tried keeping conversations with her, but every time I was met with disdain. It was just a repeat of my childhood. Except my father wasnt around to physically abuse me. My mom was there to still be emotionally abusive though. She let her ex-boyfriend constantly use the f-slur around me even after expressing to them both multiple times Im uncomfortable with it because of my being bisexual. She even made excuses for him. […]

4/24/2023 1 comment

My Story

by ceramicboy 2/16/2023

written by ceramicboy

I am a 22-year-old male. I grew up in an abusive house and was never shown what love really was. I did everything I could to stay away from home but was always pulled back by the threats. My dad said he would hurt my mom, my mom said she would hurt herself. Everything was put on me. I had to hold my entire family together while I was already falling apart. When I was eight years old I went walking down the street to my friend’s house (just a few houses down, not like my parents cared anyway) and the cop that lived across […]

2/16/2023 4 comments

My grandmother wouldn’t care if I killed myself.

by TrulyAlone 2/16/2023

written by TrulyAlone

Small before hand, the boyfriend I have now isn’t the same one as described in previous posts. Since the first sexual assault post I’ve had two boyfriends, both have assaulted me. This one is new and I’ve been with him for 2 years, he has never hurt me, even when (in fits of trauma) I said he could.

I found out yesterday that my own flesh and blood grandmother would not be sad, would not care, if I killed myself. She took my boyfriend aside a few days after a large fight we (me + my bf vs grandmother) had over a bag of […]

2/16/2023 1 comment

Is it worth it?

by savaiina 1/16/2023

written by savaiina

lately every time i take a step forward, something throws me back 3 steps. [background; long story short, my father killed himself when i was 5, i blamed myself, mother got into an abusive relationship and got on drugs. when i was 11 i moved with my aunt, (somehow got even worse) ive had drugs pushed on me the whole time here, lots of drinking and fighting, lying to police, etc.,, i was treated like a slave and belittled by my cousins for 4 years. so so much more that i cant even begin to explain.] The first time i tried to kill myself was […]

1/16/2023 2 comments

I need advice

by i_need_advice 11/7/2022

written by i_need_advice

11/7/2022 2 comments

Recently, I am thinking of suicide so much, I think I am finally ready for it.

by jaggedtruths 9/5/2022

written by jaggedtruths

For the past year and few months, I have been feeling so low, mostly tied to work. I think I just really hate my career now and I want to quit but I don’t know how to do it without involving money. I am also currently in debt for hundreds of thousands of pesos because a combination of poor money managing skills and due to the pandemic. And maybe other stuff that just piled up so much.

Currently, I am in a job I fucking hate because of a difficult client. It feels I can never do good, I can’t seem to solve this current task […]

9/5/2022 3 comments

if there is a higher power i fully believe they hate me

by almostcompletelysouless 8/28/2022

written by almostcompletelysouless

(this is literally just a huge vent) i’m 14 and in 9th grade, i’ve been struggling with mental health since i was in 4th grade, i was abused physically and verbally in my childhood, everything had been shitty in my life really. in 3rd grade started watching what i ate, this didn’t last long but then once i was in 6th grade it came back, i’ve had an eating disorder ever since then and i’ve never weighed over 100 pounds, ever since i was a kid i was told how skinny i was and was constantly complimented about it, i feel like my body is […]

8/28/2022 3 comments

Never found – ai art

by Thanatos.Nykthos 7/25/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

The playlists abounded, the only things left besides the journals upon journals, notepads chock-full

7/25/2022 0 comment

feelings dont exist

by ..akio 7/21/2022

written by ..akio

Nothing makes me feel anything anymore. The only thing I can do now is create a character with horrid backstories of abuse. Why? I don’t know. Whenever I feel upset… “wow, well *insert character* had to live through that… my life is great.” Basically just gaslight myself with the characters. Haha. I want to die. There’s no reason, really. Not that I know of, atleast. Nobody let’s me talk. I cannot talk. For if I say a single word about what’s been kept inside foe so long I will be sent to a mental prison they call a hospital! Everything I do is being watched! […]

7/21/2022 2 comments

Hear me. See me. Anyone.

by ASpeckInTime 6/20/2022

written by ASpeckInTime 1 min read

I just really need someone to hug, at the very least. There is nobody there though, I’m all alone, isn’t that funny?

Isn’t it funny when you’re alone yet surrounded by people? Isn’t it funny when everyone’s looking at you yet they can’t see you? Isn’t it funny when you’re drowning in a croud?

When everyone can save you but nobody does?

Nodoby knows?

Nobody even notices?

Please, notice. Someone, please. See me. Please… I don’t want to die just yet. Anyone? But they don’t hear me.

Is it me or is it them?

Do I exist? Do I matter in this world or am I just another object in your […]

6/20/2022 8 comments

4 years later.

by Eccedentesiastsoul 6/14/2022

written by Eccedentesiastsoul

The last time I posted on here was back in 2018.. Since then so much has changed. I was in a shitty relationship for 2 years that went to shit, I graduated high school which I thought I never would and I made it past 18 years. I went through hell during the last two years of high school would be an understatement but I am past that now and do not want to relive it. I stopped counting how long I am clean of cutting for and would not be able to give you an estimate. I do rely on other coping mechanisms that […]

6/14/2022 2 comments

Too expensive to live

by MREED 6/10/2022

written by MREED

This is just my quick summary rant of my wanting to die, yes I know what I’ve written is long and messy but believe me I have left out a lot of details, this really is a summary and I just need to let it out, any comments even if mean are appreciated, I can’t let anyone know what I’m planning so being able to be open like this makes me feel just a tiny bit better

Was diagnosed with depression in middle school, my mother is agoraphobia so since middle school I’ve had to shop for her, take care of her and the house, I […]

6/10/2022 2 comments

Tired

by okobject 3/13/2022

written by okobject 6 mins read

I’m tired. Really I’m to exhausted to feel anything most days or I am intensely angry at everything. Sometimes I’ll get random bursts of giddiness and just laugh for no reason, with abnormally high self esteem and feel like god, but eventually something little sets me off and I spiral down.

I was never really scared to die and I still don’t value my life that much. Suicide has always felt like something positive to me. Back in November I nearly killed myself. I remember very clearly- the day of I was tired and tearful because some online friend of mine was going to commit suicide, […]

3/13/2022 0 comment

I don’t know what’s next

by Junois 2/24/2022

written by Junois

I planned to end it a couple years ago when I was in high school , but now i’ve graduated from college and started University. Everyday, at the back of my head, I struggle to imagine a future for myself because I feel like i’m way below average and I won’t be able to make it in the working world. I choke on my words when talking to anyone I’m not close with and I feel like a social failure. My thoughts of ending it were harsher than they were now but I still dream of dying everyday.

My life is actually not bad but I […]

2/24/2022 1 comment

Courage 2 (quit/proceed)

by mortalcode 2/15/2022

written by mortalcode 2-3 min read

Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]

2/15/2022 1 comment

10 years ago

by jenbrownback 2/10/2022

written by jenbrownback

10 years ago I was a member on this forum, and I promised myself that I’d post 10 years later. Unfortunately, my life is still a mess like it was back then. I still feel suicidal, and it’s become even more worse over these years. I want to end it all.

I highly doubt anyone would remember me, or is still here from all those years ago. I remember Deena1994, blackoutalice, killswitchon. If anyone of you are still here, please hit me up.

2/10/2022 1 comment

I’ll finally be free soon

by aloneandsoondead 1/7/2022

written by aloneandsoondead

I’ve completely broken down this time. It’s like no matter how hard I try, it ends in failure and more agony. I thought this damn time, I could finally recover my health…hah, what a joke! At the same time, what did I expect? I feel dead inside, don’t give a shit about my future, not to mention my health is like this because of being self destructive from wanting to die.

I have no one except for my family, the very one that plays a big part in why I struggled so hard to not hate myself. I feel a little bad about writing […]

1/7/2022 3 comments

Dear me,

by Cai 12/16/2021

written by Cai

How many times have you said “i give up”?
How many times have you cried?
How many times have you kill your mind?

How many times have you hurt yourself?

When will you stop?

Always lost in the dark, never gave an effort to find light.
Covered in marks, never even bothered to fight.
Worthless, useless, incapable, dissociated.
Every negative words invented, you describe yourself with them.

You are a sad person. And you anchor down the people around you.
You worry about every single thing around you.
You cry at every inconvenient thing that happens.
People pity you. You pity yourself.
Never had dreams, because you’re untalented.
Your own mother doesn’t even like you.
Your father hates […]

12/16/2021 1 comment

I don’t know anymore.

by urmom69 10/2/2021

written by urmom69

By: yours truly (a sick in the head teenager)
TW ig idk how to do this lol um sh suicidal thought and questioning everything and also SA

Why? A question I find myself asking quite often. What is the point in anything if its all nothing. In 150 years, everyone who is alive at this moment, will be dead. Including yours truly. Though it is up to us how we spend those years. A sad realization my 13 year old self has come to is, in lets say 500 years, no one will know of my existence and probably yours as well. Unless of course you […]

10/2/2021 1 comment

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