There are people that are impossible to live with. I am one of them.
I accept that. I hate myself, i wouldn’t want to live with me either.
But you would think after living with my family for almost 20 years they would have picked up on my traits and understood how to deal with them. I think everyone does.
I know that if my mum is really upset about something and shes sitting outside having a smoke to just leave her alone. Then when she comes back inside to say nothing. Don’t ignore her, but be there for her in silence. Then when she seems better you try and make her laugh.
Sometimes i get into a fit of rage, i can’t control myself and it’s scary. I just yell and get so angry. Never violent but i just want to be left alone. Why haven’t they picked this up? Instead they keep asking me questions….. QUESTION AFTER QUESTION. Then when i stay in silence so i don’t explode at them they get annoyed at me.
I want to say “just leave me alone for a minute” but instead i say “FUCK OFF! LEAVE ME ALONE”
I wish i was different but i’m not. This rage has developed over the years and i used to be happy.
But it is uncontrollable. I hate it too.
Just leave me alone.
3 comments
It’s all good. Your behaviour is not responsible for other people’s happiness, so I am so with you! How you are is how you are. When anyone attempts to focus negatively on someone, it produces no positive outcome. Whenever anyone gets in my face, I tell them to place their attention elsewhere. They are responsible for their own contentment & I am responsible for mine…so stay in your own kitchen. Cheers!
Hey, thanks for this insight. Maybe i will try and tell them that next time.
If someone was acting like i was i would just inadvertently leave them alone anyway, so it makes me think they just like to stir me up, but then get angry at me for reacting to their negativity. I need to let it go.
Thanks softsoul.
Hey Cheers, it’s an interesting dynamic that gets set up…I laugh at it all the time.
The truth is, there are no problems in the world, just the ones we think exist. Can you imagine if everyone focused themselves on how perfect the world actually is.
I saw a clip of a lady being healed in China of a tumor in a medicineless hospital by 3 people who held the thought and feeling in their body that the healing already happened…they just chanted a word in Chinese that means…basically already healed…like it’s done…that’s the reality. They just focused their attention on her in this way…some may say that’s a miracle but it’s a technology when we really understand how we only resist the perfection that is always around us. May take a leap of faith, but it exists. So for you I hold the thought of peace & happiness in your life journey being a constant & continuous reality for you. Anyone gets in your kitchen, throw a cleaver at them…lol. Cheers!