It’s a simple fact of life. Everyone avoids anything that causes them discomfort. And it’s understandable and human. But when I’m the source of that discomfort, it just doesn’t seem right. It hurts too much. I didn’t ask to feel this way.
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hi Alance, I do feel the same way. if i could just escape my own mind, i could be happy. i’ve tried everything to keep my mind off things and yet i still feel stuck in myself. i get bored of everything i do. people say, live life, find what you like. i’ve spent so much money trying to find it. i’ve travelled the world, i’ve been skydiving over 100 jumps, i got pilots license, i own my own business, what more could anybody want some may ask. myself i’ve yet to find what i enjoy, it sux it really does. I’m with you all the way, my only advice i can give is keep moving on. one day it may come, i’m hopeful, a least a small portion of the time. Stay strong, hold your head high, be yourself. nobody can ask for anything more. take care
LB
I agree with LB. I just can’t escape myself and that is the worst feeling ever. I hate myself so much. I hate the way I think. I hate the way I talk. I hate the way I look. I hate everything. I wish I could just start over with a new slate, but that’s not possible. I plan on committing suicide soon I just can’t stand life anymore.
A sliver of my anger got out, and now that person has said they want nothing to do with me ever again. I caused her pain and I’m truly sorry for that. At the same time I’m confused and can’t help but feel justified in what I said because it hurt so, so bad. But she will probably never really understand that.
I’ve been told multiple times that I scare people. Why can’t you people see? I’m not a monster. I’m just terrified and just…pain.
The only solution now is to stop trying to express myself to anyone.
@Luckybomb I can relate to never being able to enjoy things. I’ve been told I need to just keep trying new things, and I have, though not exactly to your degree. I just feel like there’s a massive internal blockage in my brain. It’s not about finding WHAT I enjoy. It’s HOW do I even allow myself to enjoy anything? But like you, I still have a little hope.
@khajiit It’s a shit feeling, being stuck in your body and hating everything about yourself. It’s the most lonely prison cell of all. I feel I’ve made a little progress in finding air to breathe in my own personal cell. hopefully you will be able to as well