I need a method!!! and a little bit of luck…

I hate this. I am on the edge again and the pain is unbearable. I really need an effective method to end this. I am sure now and won’t give up of this decision. Maybe i was seeking for attention but now i when i am not receiving it i am sure i can go in peace. since no one will be hurt. and they say that people move on anyway and the world keeps turning around. Sure i am weak and yes i am giving up but at lest i finally know what i want.
if it mend to be different it could  be. I just wish i died that night, that is my biggest regret. Now i am just left with scars … so i am in search of some type of method that includes poison. i need this so badly. i can’t cope with this, or i can but i  just don’t want to anymore.
I reached the point where i can’t find anything good in my life. I asked for love and i got a zero! my friend told me today, since i never had a relationship that i can’t compare a two year relationship with something that i wanted to last at least for a month. i know i can’t and i didn’t want to. i just wanted to help her, provide her comfort because she felt bad because of this guy. and it wasn’t the first time that people told me this. i thought of course i know, i don’t have experience and i never tried love because no one ever cared for me in this way but i just wanted to help and why did they even asked me for advice if i don’t know anything. I mean it is so much easier if you are always the one who is left out, if you are always alone…or they think so

i am so desperate and i really need help! i can’t talk to anyone and i can’t stop crying. i wish someone could just hug me and say it will be ok ,but people around me never do that.  please… i need the easiest possible method?! some sort of poison that i can buy in my country since i need to do it as soon as possible.