My mother: she is a mean person. I don’t mean mean like most teenagers do when they say stuff like: “God my mom is so mean she took my phone”. She is horrible to me I get told at least once a week that I am horrible, I am stupid, I don’t deserve to have her love, and I am the worst daughter in the world. I stem the pain of her words with physical pain, pain that I can control. I live a constant lie and I hate every second of it. Every Monday I feel like SHIT and I go to school anyway I keep living not for myself but for my family it is a daily torture every Monday. I withdraw inside myself  I dwell on the things that my mum said to me that past weekend and I run away from it I go into the bathroom usually during lunch and I cry then I cut. I wish I could stop but I can’t. Now school, the only thing keeping me somewhat sane, is almost over and I will have nowhere to hide. I am fifteen years old and I wish I was dead…
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but you know the crap your mother says is not true – she must have her own problems making her doing that
it’s shit that you’re having to endure it – but you are not at fault
hope you can find the strength to keep going
I know what she says isn’t true but somehow deep inside I have started to hate myself a little everyday My little brother and my sisters are all that keep me going
I know the pain…
I grew up with a similar family. My parents were even heroin addicts to frost that cake.. I have hated myself because of my parents. I was reminded that I was a mistake and shouldn’t have happened.
I am 19 years old and have hated my life for years. I’ve only recently wanted to have been dead for the past 2-3.
Stay strong love. Live each day by each day. Dont worry about tomorrow. Survive today.
Your mother is horrible, stupid, she doesn’t deserve you and she’s the worst mother in the world. There’s nothing wrong with you. 🙂
Please hold on. You could find a refuge with people here…?
And… PLEASE try to stop cutting yourself.
I’ve went through such things, too.
Now I thank everyone who let me suffer, if I hadn’t suffered, I’d have been so immature and ignorant about physicology.
You shall see that your life is too precious to be taken for the ones who don’t deserve it.
Glad you still have someone to hold on to 🙂 And why do you hate yourself ?
but is you step back and can see your mum is talking rubbish – what do you actually hate about yourself ?
your showing strength under pressure – that’s a good thing
I don’t hate specific things I just hate who I am in general you know I am all around not a very nice person. For example there are like seven elementary school kids that ride my bus in the afternoon cause there isn’t busing for their school, I had had a horrible day and I got on the bus and this one little annoying asshole goes, “I don’t like your hair, it is ugly.” I just snapped and like yelled at him to shut the hell up and that I didn’t give a flying fuck what he said. the kid was like nine or ten. If that isn’t horrible I don;t know what is
Of course you started to hate yourself. If you live in the swamp it’s almost impossible to stay fresh and clean. I think you should fight back. Tell your mother what you think of her and how her actions affects you. Call her names, do whatever it takes, find some relief through anger. I know it may not be easy, but you have to try.
Also, if you can, please try to find someone you’ll be able to talk to.
If you will keep your feelings inside, there is a huge chance that this self-hatred will stay with you for years to come. And then your life will be crippled, to say the least.
Sorry for my broken english. I wish you all the best.
I talk to my friends and I post journal entries on devianART. I fight back occasionally you know when it all becomes to much and I can’t handle the pressure anymore. It happened last week and I screamed at my mum and told her she was a “Stupid psychotic ***** that should rot in hell for everything she has done to me and that I hope she dies.”
of course afterward I felt really guilty because I hate her but at the same time I don’t hate her because she is my mom and I know that even if she doesn’t love me deep down I love her. I always feel horrible after we fight because I think about what if she died and the last thing I told her was that she was a stupid ***** and that I wished she was dead. If that happened I wouldn’t be able to live with myself… IT IS SO FUCKING CONFUSING!!!!