Fall

Its getting so hard to keep going, I keep on fighting, covering my tracks, hiding, but it is getting so  hard. I am losing my best friend as I am leaving town, and now I just cant figure out what to do. She talks with me every so often, which makes everything worth while, even if its just for however long I get to talk with her,but I always feel guilty for taking up her time which she could use to talk with her bf or do other work, especially since she is so perfect, and because she said if they broke up she would want me to ask her out, but I don’t want her to experience any unhappiness, or loss, and she is happy, so I can’t mess with it. I am falling apart. My dog is slowly dying, my only other friend, and I have no one to turn to, I see ways to get into” accidents” everywhere I turn, and the ones I have already even look viable even knowing how painful it is, but I know my best friend would never forgive herself if I did, and she is the most valuable thing in my life, so I can’t, but I want to, a lot. I don’t know what to do,  I just want it all to end. I have everything I need, but I can’t feel happiness, I don’t think I should waste any more resources by staying alive.