Can’t do it anymore

I can’t do it anymore I’m only 14 a girl can only take so much I wish the last time I tried killing myself worked I have noone to talk to so here I am and still people won’t probly care sadly being raped by your father and friend for years and finally getting away and now your stepdad is a creep also is hard for me I try to be a good person and help a lot of people but I have no one but my boyfriend that’s not enough for me I miss my sisters I can’t see them because my family on my dads side believes he did nothing I just don’t want to be sad anymore if die I won’t be and people won’t have to deal with me and it sucks because I have to act happy for people barly anyone knows how depressed i actually am I take pills all the time and cut myself not for attention but because I feel like I deserve to be hurt all the time so when I’m not getting abused I cut myself I can only take it for a couple more days then I’m gone