I’m dying for her. Literally. I gave everything for her yet she’s gone and is living her life as happy as ever while i’m stuck at home thinking about her and all of the times we shared. She repeatably told me she loved me and I used to believe her.
But now she doesn’t give a fuck that I can be seconds away from landing up in another hospital or in a graveyard. I will die for her I will do anything in the world for her but I know she doesn’t feel the same. She’s my first love and I just can’t get over her as hard as I try. And even though she lied to me when telling me she loved me the worst part is that I still desperately love her and will never stop to.
But without her I’ll just be better off dead.
8 comments
I know what you are feeling and I know what you mean. It’s hard to get over that person you gave your heart to, especially the first time as you haven’t dealt with these feelings properly before, but you will eventually realise that she was the one who lost out not you. She lied to you, try to focus on that and realise that somebody who lied to you really isn’t worth your time or effort.
G O I
Hi Emily, I’d just like to tell you that you are a strong individual who can overcome this. You are strong enough to get over her, I know it’s hard but you can do it. Yes, she may have been your first love but don’t let this be your last. You are going to meet the girl of your dreams someday and I promise you that sticking around long enough to experience that will be worth it. Don’t ever feel like without her you have everything because that’s not true. Don’t base the your happiness on her, don’t make someone your everything. You are amazing, and you have so much potential that you should never just throw away. Trust me, you don’t need her. It may be hard for you to get over right now because a heart break does take time but don’t dwell on the past, focus on the future Emily. It’ll all be okay in the end, and if it’s not than well, It just isn’t the end. You can and will make it Emily, keep your head up, you’re beautiful 🙂
You wrote this on the same day I wrote my story, yet mines is 3 post long. I had a love addiction to a girl I later learn was extremely selfish. I was suicide for a long time and was living for her…
Its going to be hard to stop thinking of her, depending on how much we feel for that person the harder it will be for us to let go. For some people falling in love with another is the only way to let go of the person we was hooked on. I know how hard it is to move on but step back from your position for a moment and look at how she’s treating you. If she’s really does not love you, you going to hurt more being with her even if you got her because you giving her a chance to hurt you again.
If the situation more complex, and there’s more you are not saying then the answer could be different. but the best way to look at something is to take your feelings out of it for a moment, that is what i did and you will know the answer in the back of your mind.
Thank you. But I just try to give up on her but I can’t. She left me without any answers, she just deleted all types of contact with me. And she knows about my depression but yet it’s like if she doesn’t care if i’m alive or not. I just love her too much to just let her go. I know it makes me a fool but honestly I don’t know if I can truly live without her.
I wrote more about her in my first entry and honestly I love her more than iv’e ever loved anybody in my life. I can’t live without her. My days get darker everyday and just one day it will all shutdown to complete darkness. I’m afraid of that. But if i’m not with her than I prefer death as the solution.
If you would just hold on a little bit longer and at least try and get yourself to come into contact with new people, you will see that new feelings come up everyday. You’re going to find Miss.Right, you are and it’ll be so worth it. You’re going to be happier and you are going to be thankful you stuck around. This girl isn’t worth your life, she really isn’t. Death is not the solution and it NEVER will be. Keep your head up
Your will is stronger than your will not. Make a choice to love yourself first. It’s no one’s job to, it’s your job. This is your task. Seems harsh, but that’s how it is.
You need a kick in the pants cause this weak minded response to your situation is hurting you, and as you think about it, you add fuel to the fire you want to put out.
Perception is everything…Golfers would kill themselves every time they put a ball in the sand trap. But from out of the sand trap you could chip in. You never know what will happen…but if you take yourself out of the game with that attitude, you’ll rob yourself of meeting someone else, and you’ll rob yourself of the opportunity to learn about yourself.
Life isn’t about avoiding pain…it’s about saying..’bring it on’ so I can show myself how I can kick it’s ass, & grow into so much more strength about ME. You’re the constant in your life…no girl,…YOU. Own your situation, & choose to be grateful you had it. Cause the next one will be better…and if that doesn’t work out, the next one will be.
Keep your head in the game…one bad shot in no way means the next shot could be a whole in one. Feel me? Love yourself unconditionally….unconditionally. Life is an internal process, and no amount of love from anyone else can change the fact that you must go within & ask, pray, intend, seek to love & appreciate yourself unconditionally. No one validates you but you. You’re experiences or what people have to say to you are in no way a true reflection of the splendor that you are. Focus on that..practice knowing this. This is positive & you’re well worth attracting this into your life. Go get ’em.