im so fucking over it! fuck being a teenager. fuck being treated like your worthless. fuck having no one that cares about you. fuck being lonely. fuck my life.
im gonna do it. im finally going to end all this bullshit. i cant sleep, eat or even concentrate. my daydreaming is getting worse, i cant tell reality anymore. my minds so fucking twisted, my body aches, i can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. im dead, i just dont know it yet.
i jigged school today. i came home and i was alone. i drank till i could barely stand up, and for the first time i took a blade and cut my wrist open. i just sat there and watched it bleed. it felt good. anything to take my mind away, as far away from reality as i can get.
no one loves me. no one cares about me. im so tired of this loneliness. i try so very hard, but i just get blocked out and put in the corner to drown in my misery. i hate my family. im the kid whos always treated unfairly, always being picked on. they dont know the damage they have caused, but they will once im gone, not that they care.
i dont know why im writing this, i guess the loneliness has got to me. no one understands… but it will be all over soon.
3 comments
My heart aches for you,please try and hang on is there someone you know and trust you can talk to?have u tryed ringing the Samaritans?sometimes talking to someone an actual human being can cut through the pain a bit. I feel your despair and I wish I could lean over and give you a hug please don’t kill yourself try and find someone to talk to good luck…
I’ve felt the EXACT same way for a very long time. I can promise you it does get better, just give it time. I was impatient as well, just didn’t really see a point to anything anymore. but there is a point. I’ve met someone wonderful who i have been talking to. We get along great. We’re still strangers, and distant (literally) but always there to talk to one another. If you want someone to talk to, so you can just talk, say whatever it is on your mind, what you’re thinking, i’ll listen. Just hit me up. (bastian.draco@gmail.com) no need to feel alone. And don’t be afraid to say whatever’s on your mind. Just don’t do anything rash, think about your options. I still feel the way you do, but I’ve found some help in just talking.
I’ve been like this long time ago… I was 13-14 and I was really depressed. I’m here now, so my depression isn’t gone, but it was for a while. This fight is very long, but You have to be strong. I know it’s hard, but reaching for help means a lot. It’s really good that You are here. This site helps a lot of people. It helps me too.
Don’t end Your life. It’s worth living 🙂 Why? I don’t know… But don’t give up. There’s hope.