I went to the beach yesterday, mostly because I was forced to leave the house. It was ungodly hot out, so I decided to go into the water. The waves were huge, and I was standing the water and I thought what if one just crashed down on me and I drowned. How peaceful would that be.
And so I stood there and I let a huge wave crash over me. It pushed me down and sucked me under the water, and then I just sat under the water, it was so quiet and serene, and for a couple seconds all the fucked up shit going on in my life disappeared, and I wished that I had killed myself right there….oh well…
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I do this all the time, go to the beach, I get in the water, I stare into the distance, wishing I had the courage and strength to go forward into the water, I tried this a thousand times, I wish the water wasn’t salty so it would be easier to drown. Still, soon my friend, soon.