why am i still here?!? where the fucks the self destruct button.the drugs, the drinking and the cutting just isnt enough. sure it eases the pain, but it will never change reality. death is only around the corner but this road never ends. everyday is more painful then the day before. i dont know whats real anymore. i stare into space and just constently daydream, but i will never escape reality. not until im dead. and its all i ever think about. death and suicide. i think of every way possible to kill myself, it just ticks over and over in my head. i dont know what to do anymore. my life will never amount to anything. i dont want to live to see another day. i can only take so much pain. why do i keep writing these posts? its all too much to keep inside, and theres no one to talk to. whats life with no one in it. im so tired of this. yet i survived another day, another day of pain, and misery, and loneliness…
2 comments
self destruct indeed. wouldn’t it be handy if we came equipped with a forfeit button. i like the plight of the environmentalists. they think they can save the world by hanging the laundry out to dry instead of using the dryer. the best thing we can all do it to hit that magic button that ends it all. but hitting that button is so incredibly hard. being so unhappy and yet still being hardwired to stay alive is something that has confused me for years. good luck sorting your set of monsters.
I like that comment Johndoe. It is indeed a dilemma! Zx