I have a family so I should be happy but I wasn’t. I had an affair it should’ve made me happy but it didn’t. I told a friend about the affair. He told me that isn’t a proper affair. That he would show me what love really means. He did, I fell in love. I wanted to sneak away on a vacation to meet him and date. But, if I go anywhere without my family’s permission they would disown me and keep me from my child. So for a day I deliberated try for a chance at happiness or stay in misery for your family’s sake. I decided try for the affair. I was looking up plane tickets on the computer and my son pulled on my sleeve and asked me to play trains with him. I cried because in that moment I realized if I left my husband and my parents for this guy I was never going to see my son again. So I played with him and put him to bed and kissed him. Then I cried and cried and cried. I called up the affair and broke it off. Now any ray of sun shine of love strictly for me is gone. I sacrificed my happiness because I love my son.  But, now its all gone. I know my friends will say I made the right choice pat me on the back and then leave. Just like on the Golden Gate Bridge no one pays any heed to the person about to jump. I’m going to be sad for a long time. I fell hard for this person. I haven’t felt this sad since I lost my house and almost became homeless. I can’t stop crying its all gone.
5 comments
Do you think that infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery
I can’t tell you that I know what you are going through, because I don’t. I don’t know why you would lose your child if you left your husband. I will say that my parents decided to separate when I was in the fifth grade. It had negative effects on me, yes. But I do believe that it had far less negatives than if they faked it and stayed together. If you are completely miserable with your husband, then maybe you need space. If there is no love with your husband it will end up causing more damage to your children in the end.
Lol ^
In all seriousness, it sounds like you are unhappy with your marriage. You should strongly consider a divorce.
Then again I don’t have the most stellar record with relationships and may very well just be blowing air from my ass.
Well, I do think you made the best choice. Even if you are unhappy, it may not have nothing to do with your husband and son.
I made a lot of bad decisions because of my depression. In the end, not only those did not make me fell happier, but worse than I was. Lost relationships and jobs and other things that I could only see it mattered to me when there was no way to get them back. My unhappiness wasn’t due to them, but to my depression, and things I lost were the things that actually helped to hold me together.
The first affair didn’t worked, why do you believe this one will do? Maybe you are looking for the solution of your problem in the wrong place. Try to work in your current relationship first. If you let what you have go away you may not just be making things worse for yourself, but for your husband and kid also.
I know its just that my mother and my husband are very possessive. And they already think I’m a bad mother. So, I know if I did anything to really be a bad mother they wouldn’t hesitate to try and gain custody of my child. I’m such a mess because I think even if I did divorce I may not be able to make enough money for a judge to give me approval for custody. I know if i left I’d be leaving my child too that’s why I can’t do it. All in all I know when you get older love dries up anyway and all you have is your kids. I just didn’t want to start something if it was my fault I’m empty in the first place. What if I still feel empty after a while being with this other person I thought. Then I really would have nothing. No family no place to go and no child. So out of it all I chose my son. But, I know I may never be as happy again as I was with this person I met. They treated me better in the short time we met than anyone had ever treated me my whole life. I love him dearly and I always will. I will sit in my lonely tower and love him from afar as I watch over my child. MY feelings may only be in my heart but the time we had I cherish and its mine to keep. I may go on loving him forever so even though my heart aches I thank him for that small joy at least. For a short time I was truely happy.