I try to help as many people as possible. As you can see, I’ve been trying to help as many on here as possible.
So, I was feeling pretty good for the last day or so. But as I woke today, things changed.
Everything was coming back. First of all, I was adopted, secondly, I was sexually abused by someone, third, I was the boy who abused someone else, and lastly, I found christ.
This all came back to me today. And as I know most of you will probably think that the following is stupid, I’m missing a friend of mine.
She’s my best friend in the world. I care for her so very much, but I feel like the feelings aren’t mutual. I mean, I used to like her in that special way, but after depression hit me even harder than usual in the last couple months, I gave up on pretty much love, a good future, friends, etc, etc.
And as I write this, my heart feel heavy and my body aches. I hate it all. I just want to go. I mean, guys shouldn’t feel so sensitive for a guy, now should I?
I hate sounding over dramatic, everyone thinks I am in my life. Got too soft of a heart. I play music and love it, but it never stops my pain completely.
So, what should I do? Just want to go and die. It seems like that will be the only way to relieve my pain. This pain has gone for so very long. And, I’m tired of it.
Please help.
6 comments
And to be completely honest,
I’m losing energy, sleeping a lot (lately), toying with suicide, and everything seems over whelming.
First off, I am so tired of hearing guys say crap like, “… guys shouldn’t feel so sensitive for a guy, now should I?”
Completely untrue. Everyone has every damn right to feel the way that they feel. Every emotion no matter how shitty it may be – is completely valid. There are too many guys that bury themselves because they think they shouldn’t feel the way they do just because they’re guys. We are all human. We all feel. The more you continue to invalidate your emotions the further and further you’re going to sink and lose yourself. This may sound ridiculous and absurd but trust me, it’s an honest fact.
You just need to hold out and you really need to start allowing yourself to feel what you feel without having to feel ashamed for it at the same time.
I can’t really tell you what to do because the choice is yours but I honestly think you just need to take a few deep breaths and know that there are people on here that care and that will be here for you no matter what.
Hey. My name is Yash Rane. Bruv we have all got our problems, but they oddly make us who we are. I read a bit their about your parents, I know it must be hard. But believe me man, it is a lot harder to not have anyone for you. You have an Internet access, so you fare pretty well when compared to a kid in Africa that has no hope whatsoever. I come from India, over there, we have 350 Million people below the the poverty line, they make less than 50 cents(US dollar) a day. They keep living. They have hope, you should too. I mean only when you lose it all can you be rich in loss, and truly understand the value of what you have, or had. That girl there, that best friend yours, bruv the world is filled with people that have their own lives to look after, no good person has any intention of hurting anybody. You could ask her if there is a problem. If she says yes, listen and think about whther you deserve better, if she says no, it is pure misconception. Take care man. You have a life ahead of you, only if you work towards one. Life is oddly about overcoming the hardships and not dwelling over them.
Ah, you’re having that kind of day? Give it some time. Talk to the girl. Try to figure out, well more like get her to tell you, what’s wrong. Girls can be complicated and run in circles sometimes. If you care about her, just try to talk to her and see what’s up with everything.
I glad to read that you found Christ and you should turn everything over to HIM and let him bear the load for you, that is what HE wants to do. You should hold one more day my friend life is hard, I am 46 and I am alone and I get very depressed, I lost my job last month and I have absolutely no money to my name, I am on the verge of losing my home, I have to dogs and a cat and that is all I have in this world and how am i going to take care of them the ones that have been with me through all of my hard times, I dont know, I have no answers, I have no job and havent been able to find one, but I am not giving into it, I have no idea what lies on the other side of this life, what if I take the life GOD gave me and wake in something worse than this, its not worth that, I will live until the time GOD has given me is fulfilled then I will die and go to be with him forever never to hurt, or be lonely, or sad or cry again. I hope you find away to reach out to GOD, and get in touch with him again, hold on my friend it will change life does that constantly, it is always changing. I love you and I am praying for you
Well, this depression has hit me long before today. And it really sucks.
I’ve tried a few times to take my own life, but got scared afterwords.
In terms of my friend, I’ll see if I can talk to her.
Recently, I’ve been kinda feeling like she really doesn’t want to talk to me. She hasn’t said it right-off but I don’t know anymore.