Today was my 1st day at school. It was ok at 1st but turned to hell. I realized something today. School is what depresses me.  All these people but not even one person needs or cares about me. I feel like the only way to get peoples attention is with death. I always get memories of all the horrible things that have happened to me when I was with alot of people. No one has EVER had faith in me. No one cares. My death is the only thing people would care about. I win a trophy? Big deal. Someone can buy one online or at the store. I work my ass of to get in Advanced Classes? Who cares? Being smart doesn’t offer happiness and in fact all it does is make me feel more different. I never asked to be smart and in fact I would prefer being retarded. People always love retarded people and treat them with respect even though they have done absolutely NOTHING to get any praise whatsoever. I am jealous of them. They never have to work or go through ANY of struggles I have to go through with school. Now let me get back on topic. I want to save some money up to buy a gun.  I was thinking of using the money to buy a prostitute so I could at least say I lost my virginity. I’m done with women. All they have done is lie and broken my heart time after time. What’s the point? I don’t blame anyone for what I want to do. It is my fault. I was born with a handicap and I was born to never be loved by anyone else. Friends or anything more then friends.  I can’t blame no one. It is just in my DNA and no amount of medicine can fix it. At least I will die not regretting a single thing.
12 comments
Wow i could have written that entire thing myself like literally line for line. Im 26 now and still miserable. I wish i would of killed myself the first time i thought of it in 7th grade.
I would do you. If i knew you. And you liked good muisc
Ive read some ignorant things before…but you took the cake with your retarded comment, I have a cousin with downs and she’s been teased her whole life by.kids or teens who know no better or are just mean. She went to regular school and often cried because people made fun of her in the hallways. All she’s ever wanted was to work at a hospital live in an apartment have a boyfriend etc and at 30 still lives with her parents and its heartbreaking when she talks about wanting those things but she will never have them.
Sorry your depressed im sure what your going through is tough. But being mentally retarded doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings and don’t realize they are different then anyone else. Depressed people are self absorbed at times. Im guilty of it myself. But think.about what your saying. Shed trade places with you in a heartbeat. Some of the stuff people on here write grates at my nerves.
butterflyfly, give’m a brake, people don’t always see things all the way thru, I feel for all the bad things people have said about your cousin, yet TheUglyOne was just writing thru shades glass’s, I’m sure no harm intended.
Now about the line from donniedickwert, “I would do you” donnie if your gay thats your life, this guys post is about lack of female whatever. donnie your an awful troll, if you meant to tell this guy you’d suck him off or fuck him and he’s hetero and your homo, that line amounts to sexual harrasment.
Your a real Prick Donnie.
TheUglyOne, your dealing with feelings, and they hurt. Hang in there there is always someone in this world for each of us, usually many more than one its just a matter of timing in connecting with them. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and always doing the next right thing and the world can change for you.
Hey if you choose to use a call girl make sure you got that things wrapped tighter than a nats ass, I mean wear a good condom. Doesn’t matter how pretty and clean they are when2 people have sex they are having sex with every single person they ever had sex with before also.
Cacajun I don’t see the need to call Donne a prik just for saying ‘I’d do you.’ the op says he wanted to get a prostitute, Donne was simple volunteering services for free. It made me chuckle, I think that was the intention.
Ugly one, can I please correct your language… You may ‘hire’ a prostitute but you can’t ‘buy’ one. Buy implies ownership of the person, however prostitution involves hire of services and nothing else. Sorry for nitpicking but the human rights of prostitutes is an area of concern for me.
Anyway I think u should spend he money on a prostitute and at least lose ur virginity befor e you die. But mostly it sounds like you are doing all these things to please other people. Don’t – nothing you do will ever be enough to make other people happy. So don’t worry about them just find something that makes you happy. It sure sounds like you have a lot of talents
Thank’s one-day. Drdolittle. I dont get why you are here.?
caucajun. I’m no prick.
I’ve read many responses/posts that donnie writes about others pain and plight and its allmost always ugly, and smartass, non caring, hurtful wording that donnie use’s. Your a Troll and trolls are pricks.
Try not saying anything if you don’t have anything helpful or good to say.
I want to apologize for what I said about retarded people. I have been going through a rough time and I tend to say things I don’t mean. I was mad and upset and I took it out on other people. I hope you can forgive me.
@caucajun, I think donnie is just really misunderstood and so the things he says come out sounding really different to how they are intended. I know his dyslexia doesn’t help. But I also feel like there could be some other issues getting in the way, maybe Aspergers, schizophrenia? Anyway, I don’t think it’s fair to judge everyone by the same standards as yourself, because everyone has different capabilities and is coming from different places. And yeah, sometimes donnie can be out of line. But he’s definately no troll.
@donnie, you know why I’m here. I’m just like everyone else here.
@uglyone it was nice of you to apologise. A rant is a rant, and on a site like this, most people are pretty understanding of that.
One Day, you could have taken the words straight out of my mouth hon.
I’m a founder member of the Leave Donnie Alone Society myself, and am actually far from being alone in that, Caucajun…
Of course he’s not a troll. In his own way, he totally cares, and I often have cause to cackle at his comments which are invariably short, sweet and to the point. He gives light relief for God’s sake, and don’t we need a bit more of that on this site for Heaven’s sake?
TheUglyOne, I have read your post, and thought it was big of you to apologise about the retarded comment. I actually thought when saying ‘retarded’ you were actually talking about fake people whom you don’t like who always seem to get an easy time in life, and even become popular in all their fakery.
No one calls Down’s people retarded any more TheUglyOne. Though I totally hear that you sometimes can’t prevent these outbursts, such is the anger and frustration you carry. Better out than in, tho’ of course it will ruffle feathers as you go through life. You have a disability at the end of the day. Being challenged in interactions with people, the nuances and the fine tuning, totally goes with the territory and as such is eminently forgiveable IMHO.
Try to cut yourself some slack in the same way that these commenters have TheUglyOne. You’re a good guy, and some woman somewhere someday will be proud to call you her partner I shouldn’t wonder.
As for being ‘ugly’ well I’m here to tell you that ugliness is an interior thing and by that token you are not…at all!
I hope you will defer the gun thing until you have done a bit more living UglyOne.
Love to you. Zoe x
Well thank you for being so nice and generous. I am so happy that you guys can forgive me. I get out of control sometimes when I’m mad. I can get so mad that I don’t even remember doing anything. People who know about Asperger’s assume Asperger people are smart as hell. Some are but even the smartest ones struggle. Being smart isn’t the only thing that matters. People ask what would you rather be happy and dumb or smart and miserable. Honestly if I was happy I wouldn’t care how smart I am. Being miserable doesn’t do much either way besides destroying the feelings of people.