I guess I should just put it out thereWhen I was 10 I was sexually abused although it wasn’t rape it has always haunted me. I told my mom Nd my stepfather but they didn’t believe me. Then my stepdad started sneaking into my room in the mornings when my mom would go to work. I guess you can figure what he did from there. I would pretend to be asleep so I could tell myself I wasn’t so disgusting enough to let him touch me in all my snsesz I never told m mom about that. It’s not as if she would believe me. Thankfully im and my mom split up later that year. Ever since the I’ve had suicidal thoughts. Not just typic thougheverything they comeeveryday.  I’m not gonna be a whiny little prick and say that I feel guilty or anything like that. I simply don’t feel that exited by being Live I really wonder what it’s like on the other side. I’ve tried to tell my friends about Ll my thoughts but they simplydisregard my suicidal tendencies as a phase. On the outside I look  so happy But now you know.Lucky you
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I am very sorry to hear that you were abused and no one would listen to you and even more hurt to hear what your step father did after that. I wanted to let you know that there are peple who care about you and people who have never even met you that care about you and want you to live your full life out, please dont give up hope and please dont extinguish the light you are to someone else you may not even know it but someone is watching you and hoping to be part of your life and even if you dont feel like letting anyone in to your life now you owe it to yourself to get ready for that and find a way to get into conseling so you can talk this out with someone who knows how to listen and answer and not your friends, they just dont know what to say its not that they dont care. I have a very strong faith in God and I give him all my problems to handle for me it brings me great peach of mind..I love you my friend and I am praying for you please hang on for this too shall pass.
And he believed you were sleeping, right?
People say “Why didn’t you just scream and throw everything to him, idiot?” But yes, you didn’t let him touch your senses. You pretended to ignore it, reject it.
Ah, sometimes I detest men. It’s silly to detest all the men in the world but can’t help it.
Sorry for being not soothing enough. But don’t let all those jerks around you let you down. Maybe you find a reason to live.
Best wishes.
You are heard
you’re carrying that weight around like big ship anchor around your neck … what’s done can never be undone … but it can be left in the past where it was … you don’t have to carry it with you through every day for the rest of your life..
The good thing is the solution is simple – but it’s hard to do … let it go, forgive your self – and never look back to the past. that person has done enough to you – don’t let him keep doing it (figuratively in your mind).
compassion dawg
Nice to know someone cares.
But the thoughts remain.
Dawg you get me. It’s weird.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a healthy relationship in the future? If you carve in your brain those memories, they won’t fade away, and appear everytime when a man tries to get close to you (sentimentally, then maybe physically). Better not to let them poison your future.
I can interact with men. I refuse to believe he affects me as anything mOre than a disturbing thought.
Good to hear. But suggesting you to be careful, just in case. I had similar memories and it took time to get over it, that’s all 🙂
Really sometimes I think I’m the only one..
Well, as you say so…
It not so much of “getting” you … but i’ve carried heavy weights with me in the past – nothing lightens the load like putting it down where you found it and walking away. Anger, frustration, sadness, despair etc. are things that just consume energy that could be better used to be happy and content.
priorities dawg