I found this website yesterday and registered for it. This is my second post. When I wrote my first post yesterday, I couldn’t stop crying. Actually I’ve been secretly crying for a whole week. That’s me… I hide myself behind a fake smile and behind my fake laughs. If you asked anyone from when I was in high school, they would say I was that girl that would always have a smile on, who was nice to everyone and ALWAYS seemed to be happy. If you ask anyone from college or work they would say the same thing. But that’s not really me. Of course, there are times when I do smile and I do let out a genuine laugh but most of the time I feel like I’m alone no matter how many people are around me and how many of them claim to be my friends. I feel even worse when I’m at home and my mother complains of how much I’ve changed. I’m writing this because I’ve lost all will (and it’s a bit frightening) and all I could feel is this sunken heart type of feeling that won’t go away. I have self-harmed before but I don’t want to start that again yet at the present moment it looks like the only thing that might make me feel something different, even if it is physical pain. I just want a little hope.
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You’re not alone i’m the same way. It’s reflexive when im talking to someone i smile and laugh probably more then normal people, but it’s only a mask i wear. Please don’t self harm i will be sad : (
life is a game sometimes we’re winning sometimes we’re losing. no one is happy forever and no one is sad forever. we all fluctuate. don’t worry keep moving forward keep smiling keep laughing even if you think it’s fake the day will come when you’ll be able to laugh truly like your heart wants to with smiles that are undoubtedly real. that’s what i tell myself : )
I’ve worn this mask for so many years that I don’t know how to take it off. I really do want hope but I can’t find it anywhere right now.
Just do what I do. Don’t pretend that you are happy; let everyone know that you are content with being miserable. If they ask why, tell them to mind their own business.
Why don’t you think you can smile for real?
I know how you feel in many ways. I just joined yesterday also. I had so much to get out.. i posted i think 28 things last night. i also have been secretly crying for .. a long time. You should be yourself. Be YOU and not who people think you are. If you are happy then be happy. Don’t get stuck behind your mask like me. It is a charade i put on everyday. The sad part is, when i show alot of emotion, everyone thinks i am acting or messing around beacuse i have lived life as another person for so long. If your not happy, don’t pretend to be. If people around you aren’t listening, you can always email me at bellacarino896@gmail.com . Maybe it will help to talk tpo someone who is in a similar situation as you.
I started feeling miserable in middle school, of course with reason because of all the unfortunate events happening in my life, and I could hear people talking about me and it made me feel worse. Hiding myself has taken away the happiness I knew as a little girl but at the same time it got me accepted by my peers who after all, have helped me in school and career.
*hugs*
I know how you feel. It’s tough because sometimes, you don’t know who will listen. You want to talk but you feel they don’t understand.
Crying is ok. I’m a man and people say men shouldn’t cry, but at times I do. Crying is ok.
And if you ever need to talk,
brl.cents@gmail.com is my email.
Let’s put it this way, school is a *****. I hate school so much. They say school is the time you will enjoy the most. Screw that. It seems to be the cesspool of misery for a lot of people. If you aren’t happy with yourself, look at yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are wonderful. That you are an individual. Try telling yourself that you’re beautiful. If you can’t even say these words without looking at yourself in the eye, try to do something, anything, that can help you be happy with you. Other people have their minds, it’s none of your business. No one should care what others think, but it’s so hard not to notice. If you want to thank the people who helped you, thank them by saying thank you. You’re working your career, now it’s time for you. You should be you. If they don’t like you for you, screw them. Everyone finds someone who loves them for you. Your life is all about you.