lost

Hi katie,

you can talk to me..am also in the same boat, maybe we can share our problems. sometimes talking to strangers is much easier tan to someone close.

you know…currently i feel exactly like you dont want to do anything, get involved in anything…the only i want is to be left alone. wish i could go to some place where there is no pain, no expections.

killing myself seems to be an easy way out…but what after that???

sometimes i feel i have to go on be strong. sometimes i totally want to give up. but i get scared, scared a lot.

I dunno if you too feel the same.

i want to kill myself, but yes there are things holding me back too. when i think about my elder sister, my little nephew i cant seem to go ahead with it. I know they love me. Think of the pain they have to go through and stop. They dont deserve this

yes you are right. we have to hold on…for our loved ones. life is so very complicated. i always wanted to have a happy life, well who doesn’t.

When i was small i used to love fairy tales and would wish i could be like one of the fairy tale’s princess’s and live happily ever after

but now when i look back i realize that even those prince and princesses had to deal with their own fair share of problems (wicked stepmothers, witches, dragons), before they could live happily ever after.

So i guess life throws crap at you now and then and sometimes it just feels like u are all alone and the world is closing in on you. but maybe there is a hope that if we fight this we also might have a “happily ever after”.

I cannot predict the future, so maybe its going to be ok again or things are going to get worse, who knows…but we can always try to make an effort to live and do something for the ones we love.

I really want to see my lil nephew grow up, I love him so much, and its driving me on…..i may be a failure but there are still people who love me and that keeps me and will keep me going on I guess.

i can totally understand..sometimes my nephew too becomes insignificant infront of my problems.

But then i think, if i do something to myself today, what impact will it have on him….who knows the future he might also want to take an easy way out of problems like i am trying to do by ending my life.

I sure dont want that ever…..i never want him to say this “My aunt did it…if she can why cant I”?

so if not for anyone i owe it to him and my sis…..however big my problem may be..i will try to get out i may not suceed but i wont set a bad example. i love them a lot