I usually have two or three days where i feel happy and normal. Then the depression hits me twice as hard and brings me down to nothing.
I completely forget what happiness is like, and feel like there is no way out. It almost feels like if i ever felt anything else but this consuming darkness, it was just a dream.
Then there are those amazing weeks that i am normal, i’m not exactly happy but i’m not depressed. But the funny thing is… After about a week of feeling neutral, i start to say to myself. “I miss being depressed, i wonder what it felt like. I wonder when it will come back”.
Then when it comes back, it seeps into my life. Getting more and more upset and depressed until it hits me that i have forgotten what the bright side looks like again. And this time the depression stays for twice as long, as if making up for lost time.
I feel so fucked up. Does anyone else go through similar things?
This fucking cycle of viscous emotions is  exhausting. I am truly sick of this life.
3 comments
I know exactly how you feel, i get that kind of periodic ups and downs but they can last for weeks. And i find when im feeling down to be physically and mentally exhausted all the time, its horrible. What ive found is when i get really really low if you can just simply succumb to the tiredness, is almost like a short blissfull escape from this existance, its strange because usually i cant sleep at nights when i feel that low.
This is literrally the same thing as me. I’ll be like numb from emotion all happy then one day the depression hits me hard
yeah.. i get something similar.
but mine happens during specific times of the year;
beginning of the cold seasons (fall and winter) and during summer break.
something happened to me during those times,
so i guess it somewhat makes sense, you could say.