well i better start with abit of background, when i was 2 my brther barnabas left when he was 16 because my brother oliver who is now 20 would have been around 5 at the time was sexually abused by barnabas’ best friend and it caused my brother oliver many problems in life as you can imagine and my mother would not leave the house wich lead to her becomeing more ill and deppressed, she has bipolar and M.E. we then started moving houses alot which started from trying t get away from where the abuse happened. then when i was 7 my brother isaak left and i didnt see him again for 8 years and i didnt see barnabas again for 14ish years, they also left the religion which meant i could have no contact with them.
so long story short i got back in contact with both of the, we are all in contact with barnabas and his family he now has, then my brother luke whio is the eldest gets engaged recently and him and his fiance dont agree with me and my mum and dad and oliver seeing barnabas and having any contact with him because of religious reasons, so they have decided to stop all contact with us which has left my mother heartbroken, we havent even been invited to their wedding and they have said alot of hurtful cruel things about my parents, things which are not true.
then last night i text isaak who we still do not have contact with and asked him where he is, and how he is as he left his accomadation and fell of the radar. he said hes in so and so and things arnt to bad and that hes got a girl pregnant, (isaak is and idiot by the way in a lovable way but he cant look after himself and is abit dim) so its then up to me to tell my parents today, i told them and mums quiet upset and worst thing is i proberly wont get to see the child, since we are not supposed to b in contact with him and im just so tired and sad and worn out by it, i thought i was trying to deal with the past now but then all these things get thrown at me, im so tired of it all, theres been more questions i thought i was over thrown up. so fuck im going to miss another brpthers wedding, but now i dont want to go anyway he is a thoughtless hypocrite and a worhtless shit, my parents have done everything for him, out of all 5 of us hes the one thatshouldhave turned out well. ontop of this all going on my grandma is struggling with cancer, my uncle also got diagnosed woth cancer and myother uncle is ill with sum mysterious thing and they are all on my mums side and so it is effecting her greatly, which makes it harder for me.
so yeah thats life atm, i may have missed things out or confused someone haha, bit anyhow there it is ask any questions. god i want to die.
3 comments
Hi Birthright. My Gosh. What a lot you have going on there! No wonder you feel like s***. Try and do something nice for yourself today. Give yourself some quality ‘you’ time if you can. Something just for you: you deserve it. Remember there is nothing odd or strange about the way you feel. It’s an understandable response to all that family stuff. Makes me actually grateful that I almost have no family in my life at all…just my Mum and a son who isolates in his room all the time. All the best Birthright, Zoe x
@birthright- I was waiting to see what happened, as I was curious after yesterday. Well what can you say, when it rains it pours. It’s a sticky situation all around and it really just SUCKS! But that’s how family is sometimes. I think you should take a step back and really think about yourself. What is best for you. Sorry to hear about all the illness and I hope things turn out for the better. Best wishes for all of you. Don’t worry, when you start to freak out again (not that you still aren’t) talk to us. Vent here…get it out.
thanks for your both replies and taking the time to read my post. 🙂