they want me ..

to be here, even though being here is the one thing I don’t want

they want me to stay here so they don’t have to question, maybe change their opinions on life and death

suicide acts as a brutal wake-up for others and people want to stay cosy in their beds of “life can’t be discouraging to the point of giving up on it”, “God has a purpose for everyone” etc

I don’t want to accomplish nor have to prove anything

I’m not interested in socializing and I can’t stand routine .. how can I survive in society with this state of mind ?

also, I bother less and less with wearing a mask of conformity .. it leaves me exhausted for no good reason

the belief I have to do this or accomplish that to be somebody is another lie/illusion I was led to internalize as if it’s true

another lie = my worth can be assessed by someone words, opinion of or attitude towards me

my value doesn’t lie in someone words or attitude unless I (consciously or subconsc.) decide to give the person that power

why do I have to prove others I am somebody when I could choose to believe I’m already somebody ?

why expect another (parent, friend etc ) to validate me when I could try to internalize the belief I’m already good enough ?

I’ll be working on getting rid of ANY belief that doesn’t contribute to my well-being