Here’s the thing with God sometimes… God isn’t the one who gives you struggles, it’s the people. Really, it’s people. If you want to keep god as the perfect image, then you need to accept that the people are faulty and they defected away from god’s perfect image. This is a test of personal determination and strength. There are shortcuts, cheats, and easy ways. But they don’t last long and will make you feel worse than before. The long hard ways to get to a relaxed and peaceful life are often ignored because they are long and difficult. Find a hugging pillow. It can add comfort into your life and make the nights a bit easier. Or if you take daytime naps, it’ll make those a bit better. Find people to talk to, really push yourself to try. I know you said you were tired of fighting, but maybe you were fighting the wrong way for other people. I’m not sure, I’m not in your life. Humans have this enormous strength called willpower. It can pop out of nowhere if one truly wants to use it. You must find the willpower to keep moving and to keep living. Giving up means that you gave up this enormous power and strength. I for one have people I want to protect, even from thousands of miles away, but I was to protect them with every ounce of strength I have. So my willpower pushes me to keep looking for ways to help them; which pushes me to survive and stand the bullshit. look for someone you can protect, it may help.