Lol. I mean it’s just a thought. My last post here was months ago because i thought i was doing fine. But I’m Defenitley not. At lease not anymore anyways. All my thoughts keep coming back, im suppose to be free from them, but they keep re-appearing in my mind. The bullying, the lonlieness, being a failure. Just everything. I thought I was fine, because I told myself I’m going to get prettier, and i’ll be in college and everything will get better. But no. Nothing has gotten better. I thought for sure I’d have a boyfriend by now. I don’t know why I thought that. Im not even in college anymore. I only lasted for TWO DAYS! Yes, After two days i was finished, because im not smart enough, So i got my refund back. That’s How much of a failure I am!! Lol, Im that dumb. I mean im going back in a couple of months to be a guidance counselor, but still. Back to the topic. I’ve been rejected sooooooo many times in life it’s just crazy. I’ve been getting rejected since 4th grade. Never had a boyfriend, first kiss, date, nothing. And it’s all coming back to me. I think that it will never happen. I will never ever be a girlfriend. Oh yeah and im about to be 19. Lol, im so pathetic. It’s like, Why am I even here on this earth.
I think it’s so sad that i have to question my reason for being here on earth. Like why can’t i just Drop dead now. I don’t want to kill myself, but then again i do, but i would like to just drop dead. I don’t understand why guys never liked me before. Well, i know one reason is because im ugly, but……I see it happen all the time. The girls who are ugly on the inside and outside still happen to get the guys they want. I may be ugly on the outside, but on the inside, im just this girl who is just shy but yet, still friendly. How old will i be when i get my first boyfriend? 50? Well no, because by the age of 30 im just going to stop trying. I just really hope, that some out there, will come for me. I hate this. Being depressed all over again, sucks, so much. Night guys.
9 comments
Look, other people may be physically “pretty” and enter relationships more easily, but when you do enter one you’ll have the joy of knowing that the person you’re with loves you for the beautiful person you are and not just because of whatever your body looks like. I feel like i’d insult you to say looks don’t matter, but when i look at people weather or not i think they’re beautiful has nothing to do with the skin that i see but the soul that i stare into. Well, that’s just my 2 cents, keep being friendly and kind, and one day you’ll find someone who’s able to see that beauty.
much love, night : )
You’re not alone. I’m perpetually treated like The Gay Best Friend, and I just don’t get it. Got rejected AGAIN tonight. Some people win the genetic lottery, others lose.
I take a small measure of solace inthe fact that it is just temporary. I’m 36, so I’ve gotta be over halfway done with life. And as you get older time does go by quicker, so soon it’ll all be over and none of it’ll matter anyway.
That being the case, I’m trying to convince myself that I should just try and enjoy my life for what it is…I’ll never get to be with someone or have kids or anything, but there are other things one can do. There’s friends, hobbies, work…and it could always be much, much worse. There’s people out there who’re not just ugly and awkward, but live with horrible debilitating handicaps and conditions.
Anyway…I’m right there with you. Living life like this is no fun, but we’re here, it’s temporary anyway, so I might as well stick around and see what happens…it’s probably going to suck, but what the hell.
I completely understand where your coming from, I’m 32 and never been in a long term relationship, nor marriage, nor children. I was going days without anyone talking to me, but now that everyone and their brothers and sisters kno I’ve had a couple suicide attempts in the last month everyone is talking to me. It may seem like a good support team but in reality I don’t see them caring about me… except they just don’t want to see m die. But I’m thinking if you and I were to feel better about ourselves then maybe we would find Mr Right. We have to first love ourselves before anyone else can fall in love with us.
Ive reached the point of self love many times and ive been there recently 2, If i was getting out alot I dont think Id have a problem finding a gf (well if it wasnt for the fact im lousy at taking opportunities!) but I dont and usually cant get out much tbh, I find it (sorry to say this) kinda in a twisted way refreshing lol to know some girls are in a similar possition. I dont mind if looks arent all that tbh aslong as it kills my loneliness. What gets me is i go on plentyoffish alot and in 4 years (since my last gf) Ive had only about 2 dates off there and BILLIONS of rejections. I think its all based on status for a guy and im on the sick so it aint great but all my beauty of personality counts for nothing, and my handsomeness, im fairly handsome, very if cought in a good photo or if you catch my good side. it can get ya down cant it, rejection, it has me lately big time, which only go’s to go against you, women really are so tight and shallow where im from it seems. got more chance of getting somewhere with an insult than a nice message (fucked up!) If you were older id be your boyfriend lol
You’re not a failure, maybe school just isn’t for you.
Let me tell you about myself.
I’m 16, blind, and have experienced hardships in my life. Rejection has hit me so hard in my life. And I’m not the smartest person in the world either.
Bulying is hard. I know how hard it can be seeing as I was bullied for my blindness and such.
If you ever need to talk, email me.
I may not unstand you completely, but I’ll try as best as I can Besides, It’s not like a think like a girl anyways.
My email is: brl.cents@gmail.com
Your friend,
Paul
Actually i just want to add I was seeing a girl who wasnt good looking a while back, we’re just friends now, but she didnt have self love, she felt ugly and shes always saying how ugly she is but I was affectionate with her because i can relate to her pain and how she was feeling, crazy thing is she kinda dumped me if ya like cos i did too many drugs and got paranoid and she didnt like how I was, and then she went with a right loony nutter who tried to strangle her! some women really do like bad men it seems to me. but i guess im saying this cos while self love is essential most of the time if you find someone who’s been through similar things they’ll probably have empathy and that can bring warm feelings too.
I’m younger than you are, but I can see what you feel. Thats all I see in my future. I’ve liked so many girls over the years and I’m starting to question why I keep trying for their affections. I thought that if I lost weight, things would be different, but they’re not. I know its never gonna happen. Girls always try to let me down easy, but thats worse than them just telling you that they don’t like you, because then you believe you still have a chance, especially when they tell you they’re not ready for a relationship but to the public eye, they act really desperate. I don’t talk to people and people don’t talk to me unless I seem really sad, or they need something. I don’t know why I’m here, in this stupid existence, so I just keep doing as many things as I can, for as soon as I’m idle, the waves of depression come. I always have to be doing something I see value in.
I think one of the troubles is, the biggest part of attraction is being happy and fullfilled so when your not it can be a struggle because you do things in the wrong way, I really do think attraction is very shallow generally, but I can find attraction in things most people couldnt because Ive been at the low points, some people just dont get as low so they remain shallow, or maybe I just have a lot of good qualities that dont serve me i dont know. success is a key thing i think because that brings sex appeal but alot of people are moved greatly by negative things where with me they usually just bounce off.
Well to me i think you should think that, ‘yeah i have been rejected so what’. What you should be thinking is why u are been rejected. In my opinion people rejected what they don’t understand. U don’t need to prove your self to others just to get a boyfriend.. However the first thing you should do is look at your self in the mirror completely naked and figure out what you! want with your! life, not what others want out of you. Trust me it helps. Do it everyday in the morning. I also think you should do what you! like.. For once be a bit selfish, care only about yourself, after that people will begin to care for you. Its how people are, they care for those who care about themselves. So start by doing that.. I have been getting rejected all my life too, all i did was re-evaluate myself decided to care about myself and now am in medical school. However i still get rejected, but hey loose some win some. I still now see some signs that some people do like me, but because i am caught up with my self centeredness, most people don’t like me, which is good. So don’t caught up with the self centeredness. Just do what will help you and also help others.. PS, tell me if looking in the mirror naked alone helps