I feel like no one gives a shit about me. I’ve been attempting suicide since I was  12. I’m 18 now. I feel like I just can’t be happy, and like I should just end it. I’ve thought about killing myself everyday since seventh grade. At this point what I think is, if I’m going to kill myself, I’m going to do it right. I’ve really considered the method of hanging, booze, and lots of sleeping pills. All at once? To wait until the sleeping pills and the booze kick in a little before I pass out completely, and then hang myself? Is this dumb? I just think that maybe it’ll make the pain easier to endure and that I’ll go unconscious quicker…
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8 comments
theres no wrong way killing yourself (when you’re successful) it just depends what kind of person you are. are you the “please excuse the mess” blow your brains out kind of person or more “my last action on earth shouldnt force people to clean up after me” helium bag method person?
I’m more of a “whatever kills me quick” type person. And I’m considering hanging, booze, and pills because they’re all easy access.
I’ve been where you are and often dip back there. We’re not supposed to discuss methods here but i will say: I don’t think what you’re planning is a good method.
What’s your story, morning glory?
My mother is verbally abusive and my dad left when I was a still a baby. My mom got re-married to some asshole and then divorced. I’m a cutter and I just recently got diagnosed with alcoholism. I’ve been suffering from depression pretty much my entire life. I’m antisocial which also means I have like like 1 or 2 friends, but I feel like I annoy them. I feel like I’m a burden to everyone around me. I’m sick of people telling me that they’ll always be there for me and then walking out. Seems to be that way with everyone I ever open up to. My step mom just left us after 9 years. If I told you my entire story, you’d be reading a novel.
Novel away. I got time to kill.
You’re not alone with everything you’re feeling. I’m sorry about your mother but it won’t last. I got away from my family when I was young amnd it’s amazing what a change of pace can do. Wait just a little longer. Give yourself a chance.
People do leave… Sometimes the burden of caring becomes too mug for people to handle. I beg you not to take it personally. It helps to talk to a councillor… A trained proffessional is better equipt to support you and that way you don’t have to jeopardise your friendships. The plus side is that people care about you… Try to value and protect those friendships by not asking them to take on burdens they can’t manage.
well im not gonna discuss the quick methods, but easy access usually means long horrible suffering.
What was going on with you at the start when all this started in 7th grade? Your dad leaving and your mother getting re-married? Sounds like you have been suffering for a long time. We can’t discuss methods on this site as it is just a place to leave ‘your story.’
I went from home school to private school. I got bullied. The girls were so catty and mean. My friend introduced me to cutting. I got really lonely. We moved houses, schools, my step dad was a douche. After my little brothers were born, my step dad started cheating on my mom. When she found out, she left him immediately. I became bulimic in seventh grade, my mom started moving me around to live with different family member because she didn’t want me to live with her. my second attempt, my mema’s response (mom’s mom) was, “Oh, not again! Ugh!” In eighth grade, I went to public school. At that point, I was cutting myself in class underneath my jacket. I became antisocial and socially inept. I had no friends. Ninth grade, I moved to another state and had to start all over again. That was where I spiraled down and hit rock bottom. I got into drugs and my eating disorder got worse. I failed all my classes. Tenth grade, I got my first boyfriend. I was so in love with him, but my mother hated him and never let me see him. I relied on him for my happiness. He was good to me. Him and I had always talked about a future (too good to be true coming from two kids). After being in a psychiatric ward twice in a row, I got to see him (May 14, 2010, that was last time I saw him). The day I was getting picked up from his house, my mom told him and I that I’d be gone for 2-4 weeks at a therapy program in another state. Instead, I was sent to a wilderness program for 3 months (he had no idea where I was). I sent him 200 pages of letters. He didn’t get a single one. 3 months later, my mom picks me up after I graduate from the program, and I end up moving to another state (somewhere I had never been to live with her friend). This was the day after my birthday (no birthday card, no nothing). I started another school and everything was going good. I was starting over and actually putting myself out there to make friends. Not even a month later, I had to move again. About two months after moving, I was in the bathroom stall at school taking two bottles of antidepressants. I ended up in the ER, sadly still alive and okay.