Ive been ready to die like now

I cant wait for my next attempt, i just pray i dont fuck up my suicide again, this is how i will and have to die, and very soon, the stress on my body cant deal with anymore, i need to die now, i should have died last month but im a coward and cant hang on a rope until i blackout and die, i came close but next time i will take a bunch of mucel relaxers, and trazadone to fall asleep while hangging myself, i am looking forward to try again soon, the next frw weeks, i have my funeral arrangements planned and a will ect. i just have a little business to finish then mabe my body will agree with me and pass away. i hope i die soon, i really am not going to live like this anymore, i have nothing and no reason to live, i dont want to hurt the people who love me but idc im selfish and i know i need to die in the next few weeks.. anyway, i will keep trying until i suceed. i love you guys on here, u help me deal with my pain when i know other people want out of this world, please pray that i will die my next attempt, thanks!