The times when you’re in public and you can feel the tears coming and knowing that you can’t cry in front of your friends because they stopped caring months ago. Knowing that I’m literally the only one who still knows that I want to die. They don’t care. No one cares. I want more than anything on this planet to die. I sit in bed at night hoping, praying to a god that I don’t believe in that I will be hit by a truck or get terminal cancer so I don’t have to be blamed for my own death. I want this endless suffering to end. Take me away.
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5 comments
Sorry – not a cure for your battle. But an option…..
If you really feel some tears coming….. you can start to cough…. cough really hard. Act as if you are struggling to catch your breath. That gives you an excuse for some tears that people will not question. And that gives you time to escape the social stigmas of crying in public.
@freak, thats actually a really good idea, ive never tried that before.
@the fallen i also have these moments of wanting to cry in public, but everyone would focus their attention on me if i did that and i wouldnt want that. im sure people do care, you just cant see it.
thank you for the nice words….. 🙂
and actually people really do not “notice you” as much as you think. For a moment as you cough, if you simply raise one arm, kind of suggesting that you are okay – they give you space and go on with their lives.
@freak: wow, that’s not a bad idea.
i completely get it. its gotten to the point that i am unable to stop myself from crying in public.
Good luck. hope you find whatever strength you can to get you through your day.
PEACE