I’m so finished. I hate everything here. I hate living. I hate the people. I know this shit is supposed to get better, and it’s hormones or whatever but I can’t do it. I’m trying to so hard, but I can’t. I’m in a battle and I’m losing. Everything hurts and I don’t know why. I don’t even know where to begin to fix it. Nothing’s changing. The person that I talked to about this is so fed up with me. I can’t. I cannot talk to anyone. No one wants to hear it. I hurt people and I need to stop. I know there […]
thefallen
The times when you’re in public and you can feel the tears coming and knowing that you can’t cry in front of your friends because they stopped caring months ago. Knowing that I’m literally the only one who still knows that I want to die. They don’t care. No one cares. I want more than anything on this planet to die. I sit in bed at night hoping, praying to a god that I don’t believe in that I will be hit by a truck or get terminal cancer so I don’t have to be blamed for my own death. I want this endless suffering […]
Did I ever mean anything to you? Did I? Or was I just your little experiment, to see how hard  you could push before I fell? Here’s a little life tip: you can’t push someone to their breaking point and not stick around to help them pick up the pieces. You were everything I ever wanted, you were perfect. I would’ve done anything for you, to make you happy, to make you stay. You meant the world to me. My happiness was wrapped up inside of you. You’ve left me broken.
But I still love you.
Can someone tell me what to do. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t work my way through a day smiling and laughing and hiding fucking everything. I cannot pretend to be okay because it’s taking over my life and it hurts. I don’t think I want to die, but I feel like it’s going to take me.
I had a day. A date. It was planned. I knew how I was going to do it. I didn’t care. did never knew it was possible to feel so dead and empty and feel so much pain all at once. I didn’t know how much a few simple words could hurt. I didn’t know how good cutting felt. I just didn’t know. I don’t know how I got here, to this position. I look down and see the cold blade slide across my wrist.
I had a day. I didn’t care. I was hurting. Nothing else mattered. I needed a way out.
Then, I got a […]
I’m going to start off by saying that my life itself isn’t horrible. I was not molested as a child, my parents don’t hit me. From a distance, it must look pretty great. Which is why it makes it so incredibly difficult to make it through the day.
No, my parents may not hit me, but they’re never here and it hurts. People called me a spoiled ***** and get mad when I complain about no one ever being home, because my life is ‘perfect’, right? I would trade all of my useless, meaningless shit to have my parents be home one night when I fall […]