I went on SP chat to see if there was anyone I recognized..
Guess what! I’m silenced!
I guess saying that I want support for wanting to die is too instigating, and being against the mainstream suicide wannabes means my voice needs to be crushed.
Hahahaha, what’s new with the world?
78 comments
register again using a different email address and then enter the room using a different name. they won’t suspect a thing.
just don’t tell anyone i suggested that, or i might get silenced as well 🙂
Ha, I don’t really care to talk to people in there. Seem too close minded anyways.
I just wanted to see if any of the people who seem down to earth that I see out here were in there by chance, but of course they weren’t.
I just find it hilarious that people who come here to find understanding and acceptance are so close minded.
How many support groups are there for people who are suicidal who want to live another day? Suicide hotlines, therapy groups, counselors, psychiatrists, family, friends, suicide support websites..
How many places are there for people like me who want a hand to hold (figuratively) on their way out, and want acceptance for that?
Apparently not SP chat, and not anywhere else.
Um, YOU’RE still alive. You also have the ability to continue with your hipocrisy and start your own site/chat that should probably not even launch because, well, the dead can’t complain, can they? No one who types a thing on here actually wants to die… If they did, they’d never make it to the keyboard. This means you.
Keep on keepin’ on. lol
Yes, I am still alive.
But what exactly is my hypocrisy?
That I haven’t killed myself?
What does that have to do anything with me being hypocritical?
Wanting to die and being able to follow through are two different things.
If everyone who wanted to kill themselves did it immediately, no one would be here.
But I’m sure plenty who have posted here, and that you have never heard from again, have.
Fuck your snide comments.
And you’re fucking stupid if you think anyone who types here doesn’t actually want to die. By you saying that no one who writes here actually wants to die, all you’re saying is you’re a fucking poser.
People come here because they want to share and to be heard and to listen and to find common ground. Not everyone comes here for the same reason as you.
Keep your suicide club. Jesus, you really are no different than any of those misunderstanding people you seem to escape by coming here.
Lucky for you, talking to people like you really make me think that the very lack of understanding you truly show make this place unlivable.
You only accept those who act and think and talk like you. Talk about tolerance.
I did want to add though.
I have met some people who I’ve appreciated.
And I know I generalize when I talk, but overall I’m talking about the atmosphere and the groupies in the chat who are so quick to defend without even really listening.
For those who have offered company and shared without judgment, I’d like to give my genuine thanks.
Heartcore, and whoever else who feels the need to. I thought about it.
If it makes you feel better to call me a hypocrite, to point fingers, to drive away, think yourself the better person. Do whatever it is you please. If it makes you feel better in the end, I guess it at least helps one person.
I wish they would just fuck off
Jgirl, it seems you only accept those who act and think and talk like you. Talk about tolerance..! Gawd, I hate tennis… and golf…
Well, the least I could do is apologize for my attitude, and see wtf happened over in the chat so you can get back in, even if you don’t.
Oh, and I’m not a poseur. I’m just not at that section of the roller coaster right now. It goes in circles.
You probably are right, heartcore. I wish I had the understanding to encompass more people, but I obviously don’t.
If you were replying to me without even being witness to what happened, I’m not even sure what to say. That’s like criticizing a story you didn’t even read.
I pretty much said that when I joined the chat, I had expected the atmosphere there to be more understanding of people who want to die and want unconditional support, even if their decision is to die. Then I had a flock of people jump on me accusing me that I was expecting the chat room to mold to my expectations, that SP chat is for those who want to ‘help each other’ (meaning they only want to offer support and encourage others to live, or something like that) and that if i didn’t like the atmosphere I should go elsewhere and leave. And then I had several people just spam that over and over. When I said that what they were doing were akin to bullying and just ostracizing someone for looking for something different in a SUICIDE chat room of all places, they pretty much just crucified me for it.
So then I just said ‘fuck you all’ (which I probably didn’t mean for everybody, really), left the chat, cried on my bed and felt sorry for myself. Good thing I went to SP chat of all places to not feel lonely or scared.
The next time I logged in I was silenced. I guess saying fuck you all is something worthy of being silenced, after all the other kind of crap that is said in there. That or because I’m obviously trolling a suicide chat because I’m not suicidal.
It’s fucking stupid that I’m even typing this out.
Who the fuck cares in the end, anyways.
As if most of the people in there would give a shit if I died alone without anyone to talk to.
God I feel so fucking emo after typing that shit out.
Duke, you’re a breath of fresh air, if I didn’t tell you that yesterday.
I’m just dumb Pak. What do I know about anything.
@ Heartcore, I know of a specific case of someone with the user name of Jabbawabba that used to post here maybe a year ago? He posted for at least 6 months on that very long helium hood method ’till one day he wrote. “Saturday is my last day on planet earth. If I am not here after that is because it worked”. His sister wrote on this site a few days or weeks later telling his story and saying good bye to everyone on his behalf. Ironically, he had been told that he wasn’t serious about it since he had been talking about doing t for so long…
What can I tell you Heartcore… ? It’s sad that there’s such thing as being “too suicidal” for a suicide forum.
@Jjgirl13, how was your day besides the chatroom incident?
Well, you are a likable dumb Pak, whatever a Pak is.
I’d buy you a beer with the last hundred bucks to my name.
@ Swan I commented on your post mirror mirror. If you look in the comments section it will reveal me email address. I’m only giving to to you because i’m convinced your an above average looking babe and my intentions are completely immoral. I hope your ok with that.
@ Jjgirl never mind and I would gladly accept. Beer is my favourite thing in the world. I’m actually drunk 93% of the time I’m on here.
Drink until you problems go away
Drink until you can’t remember your name
Drink until you’ll never be the same
What, I dont go in that category?
Swan, my day was filled with dreams. I struggled to sleep as long as possible.
@Duke, I love the comment. Hahahaha! Nothing beats sincerity.
@Jjgirl, Lol. I don’t have even a hundred bucks t my name. There used to be a precious time not too long ago when I would buy without even looking at the price tag. Those days are gone. I am just living off the people I once helped.
@ Jjgirl, I know the drill:
Sleep until your problems go away
Sleep until you can’t remeber your name
Sleep until in your dreams you’ll never be the same.
(I had to add a bit to the story but it still resembles Duke’s ode to beer). I am addicted to sleep nowadays. Pop Xanaxes every once in a while to help.
Jabbawabba was a very intelligent guy. Arguably he did more good whilst he was here by helping those with that had lost all chance find a peaceful transition.
Yes. I remember Duke. He was a professor at Oxford University. Believe it or not; that was one of my favorite posts ever. People were helping each other on their decision to leave and it was raw but honest. It’s the only one of its nature I’ve ever found on this site.
Yeah, I was friends with one of the girls that would post on there regularly. After she left, I didn’t hear from her so I assume she succeeded. I would have done anything to stop her, she was very cool.
I understand. You must really be an “old” member. I never recognized any past user names in the current SP except for Dawg.
How’s the clique coming along?
Not trying to start a fight or anything here. I have no beef with you guys, but can you at least see how ridiculous this whole thing is? You guys are doing exactly the same thing the people in the chatroom are doing, while bitching about how the people in the chatroom are doing it.
If ever I needed evidence that human beings are about as significant as ants, it’s this kind of shit. Conformity is most insidious when people are doing everything they can to oppose it.
Us, meet them.
@ JJgirl Why create a post like this? You know the only person you are updating is yourself. People from here say all sorts of derogatory and racist things behind my back. Does it both me, no. There’s more to life than sitting in front of a computer screen.
@ orangish, not me pal. I’m not bitching about anyone.
Upsetting not updating
@Orangish, I am not bitching about anything. I was on the chat once and decided never to go back cause it was not fulfilling to me. Never said a word about it until yesterday when someone else felt the same way.
People should be able to openly talk about their issues without the fear of being judged or ostracized since this is some people’s last resort and hope for some empathy and understanding.
Most people come here for different reasons other than having a sincere will to die and they could pretty much be called “the majority”. So where should the people that do consider suicide as their only option go? It’s not like there are tons of sites of this nature out there. Believe me, I searched.
Sorry I won’t get involved in the philosophical discussions at this time but I just assure you that me being on this site has nothing to do with having or not any issues with the conformity of this world, society, blah blah, blah. The concept hasn’t even crossed my mind so why debate it?
It’s funny how we really are smaller than aunts when compared to the universe yet everyone is a whole different world and this life means more to each one of us than the entire universe. Ironic but true.
@ Orange – We’re not excluding anyone. You just ban people then say what you want about them. Some of the people there are really insular, bigoted and lacking tolerance but that’s ok to you because they are your friends, your livelihood. If some on here was like that, even if I knew them a year and we were close, I would turn against them if I didnt agree with what they were doing. That’s because I have no bias. When you look at them, if you imagine every group of people persucuted, they are like the unintelligable mob. This is different, it’s not one sided, everyone can express an opinion but do it diplomatically and with respect for others.
Ha, my bank account is actually negative. I just have some cash left that isn’t in there. I’d still buy either of you a beer, though.
I have fantastic dreams when I sleep. not necessarily surreal, but fantastic nonetheless. When I start to wake I struggle as much as possible not to.
I’ll have to look up Jabba ‘s post. Seems like he was a good man.
Great, look forward to it. Someone on here recommended me Moose Drool. Don’t think you can get it over here. Cool name for a beer.
I agree with Duke. It’s true that when people express themselves in a respectful and diplomatic manner we all tend to be a lot more receptive. But then again, I also have broken all those rules many times in life in the name of desperation.
Good night guys. It was nice seeing you :).
http://suicideproject.org/about/
This site is for helping people reconsider killing themselves.
2) The SP Chat is linked here by permission, not actually another page of the SuicideProject.org
3) Seriously, maybe SP.org will link to yours. Pioneer this, I say!
Good nite Swan
Haha, it is a cool name for a beer. Right now I’m staying at someone’s place, who absolutely has no respect for my well being, drinking his 13 year old aged Bourbon.
You are right though. I shouldn’t have posted how I felt about being silenced. People who do want to silence me will just rub it in my face. I guess I was being the emo attention needy girl I am who decided to post on SP at all to start with.
I’m over it. There are bigger fish to fry in life than whether anonymous people in a chat room find me acceptable or not. I’m just not frying them.
What do I care about anything, really. I’ll shut up and go drink my Bourbon.
Oh, and nice seeing you too.
We live another day.
I know what you mean. I’ve got to wait until July next year before I get paid. Then I’m out of here, quitting my job and becoming a man of leisure. The most important decision I’ll ever have to make is whether to have a latte or flat American coffee
Hey JJ…..
You and I talked a bit on sp chat this past weekend…. If you still wanna chat. Anytime…. Just post here and I will email you.
“How many places are there for people like me who want a hand to hold (figuratively) on their way out, and want acceptance for that?”
Yep. Social workers give out disposable syringes, needles, to addicted people so they won’t get\spread HIV, Hepatitis, etc., but there’s no one (with the exception of that forum, about that book, but it’s for elderly people), who would help people end their life quickly, painlessly, and with dignity. Grade A double standards, hypocrisy right there.
“whatever a Pak is.”
Probably a Pakistani, citizen of Pakistan.
That was my closest guess as to what a Pak was. Didn’t want to make assumptions though.
Heartcore, through months and months and months of searching, every site or link or phone number I’ve found has been for people wanting to reconsider. No one gives a fuck or truly respect the wishes of those set on their decision to die. It’s kind of the way that the well-adjusted and living flourish; those who have at least that tiny hope to flourish will have someone somewhere willing to help. Rarely does anyone sympathize with those who really have given up. And maybe that is what people like me deserve. I should probably just welcome the scorn, I brought it on myself to start with, because I decided I didn’t want to try anymore.
The closest to allies in my path I have found, I have found here. And even then, if I posted anything explicit I’d probably find my post erased. If I had the energy to make a pro-suicide website, I’d probably change the ceiling light in my room that’s been out for more than half a year, and get a job, or at least claim disability so I have money to live another month. If I live till the end of the month, I probably won’t be on here anyways. Being evicted is always fun.
Tell me, though. If you can. Where someone like me belongs.
Because I am terrified. The terror seizes me relentlessly.
@Duke: Who banned who? Fuck, it seems the universe has shifted three inches to the left. The comment I made previously was directed at jj, who, the last time I was aware of her being in chat, spent an inordinate amount of time complaining about cliquishness and despite how confounding it is, she has now joined in with the cliquishness on SP major. Consequently, complaining that the chatroom is a social network while posting on a social network is also confounding.
But then again, I have decided that I am insane. Silly monkeys. When will they learn that they are monkeys? I must ask myself that at least once a day.
I have a clique? Thank god. I was starting to feel like a one-man army.
I’m glad I have a clique of my own after two people decided to agree that they had similar experiences.
Despite what SP chat claims itself to be, never once have I truly felt welcome or comforted between all the e-hugs and kisses that go on. But if it helps you, all the best.
If SP chat was really a welcoming place, you think we’d have this conversation to begin with?
Think about it.
And as far as I’ve searched, I can’t find any posts by Jabbawabba. There is a Jabawabba, but no posts by him.
jjgirl13 People were unsympathetic even with Jack Kevorkian(a great guy in my opinion) who helped terminally ill people end their physical sufferings. The guy went to prison for that. So how to expect people to be sympathetic with other people who wants to commit suicide because of their depressions?
Looks like you stopped by chat. Woulda liked meeting you.
And jjgirl: one of the reasons people will be hesitant to reach out to you is because you say you want to embrace suicide. It should be obvious that in reaching out, people will form bonds with you, and those bonds will cause pain once severed. Why would someone want to do that to themselves? Why would you want to do that to someone else?
I’m aware, Abstract.
Orangish. You know what the simplest solution to all of this was?
To have an actual sympathetic ear. To say, I’m sorry if we excluded you.
Not group up and say, ‘We’re no clique. If you think we’re a clique, you’re unwelcome and you can leave.’ Here, we’ll silence you on top of that because we don’t really want to hear the truth.
But what are the chances of that ever happening?
I thought not.
And you’re really good at trying to incite people to lash out at you, but I’ll refrain from doing so because it’s far more enjoyable for me.
Hi, Jgirl… I would like for you to explain to me why you want to find people who sympatize with your desire to die, and maintain that desire. I understand Stephen King writing about death, I understand death metal, I understand medical staff at long term care facilities, I understand coroners and morticians as well as snipers, and I’m wearing a coffin charm around my neck with a skeleton inside, dreading my next therapy session about why I like Star Wars but utterly despise World War 3… What I don’t understand is someone purposely preoccupied with rage and despair, while asking for honest camaraderie. I know you feel like sheer hell inside and out, but isnt your grief based on your desire to actually enjoy things again? Would you rather solve as many problems as realistically possible, or be engulfed in misery? I’m just wondering.
In other news, I’m glad you can log on here and at least vent some frustration. Later.
What! Hey now, I remember distinctly embracing the fact that cliques form in that discussion. I have no problem with that. You seem to be the one who opposes it while embracing it at the same time. I have no idea why. It’s like you expect reality to pander to what you want, rather than expecting to have to shift your own perspective a bit to find a comfortable middle-ground between unique individuals. How wouldn’t that piss people off? There are a number of people on the SP chat right at this second who happily exist there, while also embracing suicide at the same time – I know because I talk to them a lot, and have no problem with them. It breaks my heart, sure, but what can I do?
Orangish, why do you think I’m here?
Honestly.
Have I told you that my old roommate, one of my best friends, I lent her money several times when I had none. I asked her to pay me back earlier this month because I would get evicted otherwise, and my account was going to go negative. You know what she’s done, since I gave her that blank check so she could go to the dentist, with the money I’ve gotten from loans? Since she’s believed that I really will kill myself, she took the money, never asked me once how I am, or to stick it out with me to the end, she unfriended me on facebook and didn’t even pay me back most of it. That’s how it is.
And you know what. I don’t even blame her. I don’t talk to anyone in real life because I can’t deal with the guilt I feel from interacting with them. My ex stopped talking to me for the last time I actually took an OD. Asked me, how could I do that to the people I love?
I came here to escape that. To find people who understood what it is like to be where I am. And unlike what you say, people like Black Swan have offered me, albeit an online presence, offered me unconditional support in my decision. Because she doesn’t want me to feel alone when I go.
Sure, I know it’s a lot to ask. That’s why I deliberately cut off everyone in my real life. Because everyone pleads with me to live and I can’t offer them anything good, anything positive. And I feel alone and lonely and without anyone to understand me, even if it’s self-imposed.
I’ve stopped trying to explain it to everyone I know. So why is it so hard to just find empathy instead of having to explain myself again and again, all that shit I’ve been escaping, here, of all places?
Two of the rules of SP.org is not to solicit suicide partners and discuss methods on killing yourself….
Jjgirl people feel obliged to try and help you out of your dark spot… I know how you feel. I’m going to kill myself and no one can stop me with words or anything else but I don’t expect people to understand or accept it… It is was it is… Might not be the ideal situation for people, but it’s my choice and its what I feel is best for my life. But to think people aren’t going to try and ‘ stop you’ or not agree with your decision is irrational.
We make this so much more complicated and difficult than it needs to be.
We here in the US say, let’s decriminalize marijuana. The crazy political machine starts and people imply that decriminalization equals encouragement to use. You want teenagers to get stoned! Logical fallacies abound, albeit very subtle ones, which shift the discussion towards a different object.
I’m facing the very real possibility of being homeless yet again, sometime in the next month. Ever see how society treats homeless people? It’s fucking disturbing. This is the reality of other people; we’re all ignorant of the effects we have on those around us. We’re just a bunch of silly monkeys hurling poo at each other. Well, fuck that, I hate hurling poo.
Heartcore, I dug the hole that I am in. I dug it because I didn’t want to get out. Because hope is misleading.
I stopped going to school one day. Because it was irrelevant. I stopped paying attention to my car. It got towed, I have thousands of dollars in fines because of my apathy. I have hospital bills piling up, credit card bills, bank fees, rent fees.
It was all manageable once.
I dug my own hole because partially, I didn’t have the energy or desire to fix any of it. The other half, I wanted to drive myself into the ground as much as possible – because, I’ve been happy. I know what it’s like, to be healthy. Fairly well-adjusted. But it crumbles so easily. I’d rather shove my nose in shit, so that I can never remember the smell of roses. Because to know what roses smell like.. and then to face-plant my face in shit.. that’s even more unbearable.
I broke my own legs so I couldn’t walk. Because running felt so free. I wouldn’t dare to run again.
If solving my problems and moving on with life was what I wanted, I’d be doing that right now. Not burning more letters on some forum, being some emo-suicide.
Oh. And Heartcore. Do you think those who despair don’t want camaderie? I don’t really know why you’re asking. If everyone here were so desperate to live, why don’t they?
Loneliness and the inability to feel joy, are two distinctly separate things.
Pepper, I know people want to help me up. And it’s not entirely unexpected either. I’m just fucking sick of it. Sick of having to feel bad that I want to give up. Having to explain over and over and over why my decision is final and to having that apologetic feeling because I want really do want to kill myself. I don’t fucking want sympathy. I want fucking empathy. I just wanted people here of all places to be able to understand that.
And for those that do, I’m thankful. Because it almost makes me feel like I can breathe.
Hey Pepper, do the people you know here give you sympathy or empathy?
Do I give you sympathy or empathy?
None of this matters. You’re here now, I’m here now, we’re here now, and there are no divisions except what arbitrary shit we all hold as more important than other people.
Freak, I didn’t mean to ignore you.
Thank you.
Anyone who wants to talk to me can add me on skype, it’s youdontknowmeow.
Or you can email me or chat me up on googlechat. My email shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. I’m invisible on both.
I’m going to try and go do the dishes that have been sitting in my room for the past few months, so my dead body doesn’t have to feel fucking ashamed for how disgusting a life I’ve been not living.
Orangish, I’ll end the thread by agreeing with you that none of this matters.
None of this matters.
Ironically, it’s the only thing that matters.
how do you even get to SP chat?
http://us5.******.com/SP-Chat
With all sincerity, I hope it helps you, Iwillbehere.
It seems to help some others.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrpGhEVyrk0
^ good song.
I also like Nine Inch Nails – Right Where It Belongs, along the same line of concept. Fucking weird world we live in. We can’t see the forest when we’re hiding in the trees.
Please note that all activity on SuicideProject.org is moderated to ensure the highest value content for the community as a whole. By using the site you are implicitly agreeing to abide by the terms of use posted clearly here: http://suicideproject.org/about/
Attempting to evade the system you are agreeing to be a part of by posting here kind of defeats the purpose, so please don’t bother doing it.
Right, right, right. Here come the authorities.
You’ll be rid of me soon enough.
Thanks for the message though, blinding beacon of hope.
Hi Blog Manager. I’ve often wondered why you don’t post or comment more frequently than you do. I would be curious to get to know you, I think.
I don’t know… It’s so sad that there seems to be no compassion whatsoever towards someone that needs it more than ANYONE that still has the strength and the hope to “get better’. Do you know how lonely is the decision and the moment to sail out of this world?
There were soooo many posts about how sad they were about Amanda Todd here, yet had she written about her plans here, she would have been kicked to the ground! That is what I REALLY call hypocrisy!
Dear Blog Manager, contrary to one of the comments on this thread, there has never been any discussion about methods or finding suicide partners from any user on this or other posts. I don’t know where the user Heartcore gathered this “information” from.
The major problem, people have with people that say they want to commit suicide, is that they don’t believe them. They think that they just crave attention, went, are emo, etc.
In some cases (probably a majority of them) that’s the truth. But in some it isn’t.
And that + the preached all around: “life is the greatest value” (even by the people who makes suici… I meant martyrs saints) is the problem – it makes those people even more miserable that they already are. And there’s also a catch – living != life.
The problem with this website is that it isn’t, for those “isn’t people”, but they are here nonetheless. Why ? Probably because they’re frelling tired of searching for place that would be pro-choice, whatever that choice is, and not pro-living.
I saw all this earlier but didn’t feel like commenting. I don’t advocate suicide unless a persons standard of life has fallen well below that which any human would reasonably expect and there is no prospect of recovery. There are pro suicide chat rooms that I go on. The people there are nice. You don’t get the Jesus people or the do-gooders and attention seekers. They don’t want to help people like that because they themselves don’t get anything out of it. You are all here to make friends. Don’t lie, don’t say your not, I can see it.
This site gives people the power to obtain fulfilment. When they befriend a depressed teen they think they somehow saved a life. If a person is truly fulfilled there’s no way they are going to scout around the Internet doing that. People on chat mostly return to comment on other chat members threads. This site was better in the past, there were very sophisticated people that weren’t after anything for themselves. The SP chatroom is about a small group of friends and the fat kid in the playground isn’t going to fit in because no one wants to know them. A teen that puts up her photo will fit right in or someone that tells people what they want to hear, uses baby language etc, they fit in. Thus site is full of fat kids in the playground so it’s ridiculous. They end up psychologically breaking down, they don’t say anything just disappear.
I’ve seen the way you behave on here, I’ve seen what you do. Say what you want.
@ Blog Manager it’s interesting that you commented on this post when there are so many others on here that break the rules in worse ways. I think there is more to this, there has to be, why would you intervene now of all times.
when people criticise the discussion of suicide methods on a site apparently dedicated to suicide, is that not counter productive. Of course suicidal people are going to rant, swear, discuss methods because they are inherently suicidal. Surely, the sites that enforce this rule stringently are alienating the very people they are claiming to help. A lot of the people that are here didn’t subscribe to those sites because as soon as you say something controversial or against the indoctrination the moderators come along and beat the crap out of you.
I’m not asking you to get involved in a discussion. I don’t own the site and those are the rules. A guy put up a post yesterday begging for methods and you didn’t say anything, yet on this post you do. I wonder why? Maybe he wasn’t worth the time of day. Like when NBArules was on here spouting hate the people he directed that to weren’t worth the time of day because it’s the majority that hold sway. What about all the nonses you get on here. No normal fully grown man is going to want to befriend kids in that way it’s weird and creepy. You only get involved when it’s easy, when you can be bothered.
@ blog manager do you post here under another name? Im not implying that your not some sort of a moderator because clearly you are. Just that you have unusual bias toward this thread which leads me to believe you also go by another name. Don’t worry, I have several 😉
@Duke, I don’t think you can generalize or pretend to know everyone’s motivations here and put them all into one solid category. I’ve been on this site for about three months and I initially came here cause Jabbawabba’s post on the helium hood method popped up on the internet search for painless suicide methods. I wasn’t looking for any friends nor was it my goal to “save lives”. I sincerely wanted to die. Now, that It seems that I will HAVE TO stay alive, I find comfort and company by reading other people’s stories that somewhat resemble mine. The people around me are not depressed and that makes me feel “out of place” so I prefer to interact here for the time being. I won’t ever meet anyone from this site in real life so there’s no point on being “friends”. Pen pals can be a good word, but even then It’s not often that this option appeals to me.
Perhaps this site could have been called: the Depressed Project, instead of the Suicide Project. That way people wouldn’t get the “wrong impression” wouldn’t feel free to “share your suicide stories” like this site states. How do you “share your suicide stories” without talking about suicide and all that it entails??? For sure the Depressed Project would have been a better option and a whole different ball game would be played here perhaps then. As for the “fat kids on the playground”, believe it or not, I do care for them. I could have been one of them.
I guess Jabba’s post (which probably brought me here as well, I just can’t remember reading it) about helium was deleted for violating the rules. I’m sure many of us were brought here by searching methods, as you said. And as for Duke’s comments, I think he was directing it more towards the chat room than the people who post stories.
Duke, if I had known earlier that there were any pro-suicide sites that you knew of, I would have asked you about them. I spent months looking for one. Couldn’t find any non-hoax looking ones, since the suicide holiday thread was closed long ago. It’s outside of my time frame to be looking for people to talk to now.
I know where you are coming from, as well as you, Swan. Many different people come here for many different reasons. I’m sure searching ‘suicide’ gathered us here to start with, but we all frequent here for different reasons. I just wish we were all accepted and not just some.
And despite the very short time I have known you, even as online presences, I would like to think you my friends, or at least people I can find common ground with, although I have no intention of hurting you.
I’m delirious from fever higher than hunter s Thompson on a weekend in Vegas. But I saw this thread and it upset me.
@jgirl yr not the only one who feels that way about chat, but I hope you find some people here who can offer you comfort. I am one o those people, I am just stupidly busy for the next month so I can’t be around much.
@blog manager the rule of the site are set (no discussion of methods or looking for suicide partner) but the intention of the site is ambiguous and that’s what made it special. I was under the impression it was a safe place to come and share the feelings tht we can’t help having, that we can’t share in the real world because they are ‘inappropriate’. No where does it say ‘you must encourage others to live’. Honestly, I get enough of that in my real life. Do I really want it from some stranger who doesn’t know my life? That is the height of insincerity in my opinion.
Also blog manager, this is the first time I’ve seen an administrator comment with what is clearly personal opinion. Admins only used to intervene when someone broke the rules. It is not the role of admin to use their position of power to push their personal agenda.
This place used to be a lot less judgemental. I come here because its my last refuge of honesty, where I can truly be myself. I DON’T come here because I want a will to live rammed down my throat.
If that is what this place is becoming, I’m out.
What?! My comment is under moderation?! Is someone trying to censor me???
Ps anyone calling jgirl a hypocrit can and should go fuck themselves. If you’re such a do gooder, do you really think calling someone a hypocrit simply for wanting to use a Suicide blog is a good way to encourage someone to live? Lets be honest. This has more to do with a few bruises egos than it has to do with altruism or rules of the site.
@Duke, I apologize that I got too defensive after all the attacks from other people on this post. I took your comment personally and misunderstood as I didn’t realize that you were talking about the chat room. I am sorry.
@One_day, So nice to hear from you. Missed seeing you around here. I hope you get well soon.
@ Black Swan I don’t really know what your talking about. I’m just glad it’s Wednesday, we are past halfway in this tedious week and then there’s next week to look forward to. I wish I knew what life was like.
@Duke, Lol. Never mind. Soon you’ll get to experience life like you never have before once you break free and become a man of leisure.
By then it will hardly be worth it