Just wishing it would be over

I can’t ever remember a time when I haven’t thought about killing myself. My life has always been a mess. I was an overweight kid so school was a nightmare. For some reason I always make the wrong decision or do the wrong thing. I don’t know if I’m evil or just stupid. My depression has gotten so severe that I can’t work. I live with my parents and hardly ever leave the house. Recently my one real friend stopped talking to me and it has pushed me over the edge again. I just feel like I can’t go on anymore. What’s the point? I feel so alone and hopeless. I’ve slashed my wrists but it’s never deep enough. I’ve taken pills but they were never enough. The worst part is I don’t see things ever getting better. How? I’ve been to doctors and I take antidepressants every day. Nothing works. It’s like every day I feel so much sadness it’s unbearable. Right now it hurts so much inside I want to scream. I just wish this life would be over.