I’m in that mood again but it’s different.
I just moved out into a different place,
I couldn’t handle the one place anymore-
And lately I feel like there’s no forward or backwards,
My mind is absolutely feels like it’s a dream.
Last night I cried myself to sleep,
I wanted to cut and than take all the Melatonins so the pain won’t bother,
Don’t know what to do anymore.
I wish it was a dream-
Tell me it’s a dream.
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I think it kind of is a dream. God knows I wouldn’t call half of what I feel ‘real’. My mind plays tricks on me. People are quick to criticize without any information. How could any of that be real?
So, then, what is real? I wish I had a satisfying answer. … I’ve been sitting here thinking, then I feel my pulse. It is warm. It keeps rhythm. THAT is real. My breathing slows, keeping harmony with my pulse. My breath. THAT is real. I am sitting in my chair, pondering as furiously as I can what you’ve written to us. I don’t know how to answer, but I am alive and I am real. You are alive. You are heard. You are real.