I have always struggled tried and worked out myself to get what others get without blinking..life has placed me in a situation were i would have to live every minute of my life regretting..i would be 20yrs of age on the 18th of ds month buh i am just dust and wind…the past wasnt filled with roses.and i am not being funny.i have never walked in a real park..when i was young i wantd to become many things different from the sorry case i am presently..i just sleep,eat,walk,sleep,walk,my system is not even connected to the internet…i know there s a power controlling the balance of things.i am not hoping things would change overnite.but i just pray it does change soon.i am getting tired of this routine walk in the desert..the only girl i love is out in an expensive private university.somewhere far from me…people try to get close to me.buh wen they get to see how pathetic my life is.they move away…she did the same thing.[its not her fault]i still love the life and everything.and i appriciate the fact that i am alive.but things are not heading my way.i feel like pulling the plugs,but i dont want anybody to feel like i wasnt strong enough to hold on..i love cynthia..but i cant make her be with me.even if she wants to….i dont want her to get to know the real me and walk away just like everybody