Sometimes it is like there is nothing inside of me. Â Like I can’t move an inch or budge my eyes. Â Like I can’t twitch my mouth into a smile or raise my voice from a whisper. Â There is nothing. Â I am nothing. Â And there is nothing to live for.
Other times, like right now, it is like I am screaming in pain. Â No one hears it because it is stuck tight in my veins. Â Never exuding to the surface to see the light of day. Â But I see it. Â And I feel it. Â And it hurts.
1 comment
Hey Tryingsohard,
I hear you screaming…your real. I actually understood what you were talking about in the beginning…the zone…that’s what I used to call it. If someone had set me on fire…I couldn’t be bothered to try to put myself out…I would have just sat there and burned. It’s kinda beyond apathy…almost an altered state of consciousness…a detachment from reality..including your own body. Am I close or way off the mark…just never heard anything that came so close before.
Ah well…pain I understand. All kinds. What do you do to deal with it? I used to self abuse when it got tooo bad…but I’ve learned other ways to deal now. I’m sorry you are hurting. We’re here if you want to talk…or just rant…whatever.
Peace
Amakua