Am I alone?

I want it all to end. I want to leave everything behind. I’m tired of going to school and putting on a happy face, but I have to because at my school if you show that there’s actually something actually wrong people judge you, and they think you’re “acting” sad to get attention. I don’t have friends that I’m comfortable enough to talk to about my problems. I have one friend that I have talked to about some stuff and she didn’t understand, she stopped being my friend after I told her. Everything for me changed when I told her because she let everyone else know that I cut myself and had suicidal thoughts. She would tell me that I could tell her anything and that she wouldn’t tell anyone, but she did and everyone judged me after they found out. Also my home isn’t home for me. There is constant yelling, fighting, and hate. I always feel like nobody at my school will understand, but in the back of my mind I know that there is someone else at school dealing with something similar to my problems at home. I can’t sleep at night and I can never figure out why, and if I do sleep it’s not until at least 3 in the morning. I remember holding hands with my Dad in the living room and dancing to the music that was playing but now I feel like a disappoint him everyday and he never speaks to me unless it’s to yell at me. My Mom and Dad always yell at me asking why I’m always in a bad mood, and I can’t tell them that it’s because of being at the house because they will threaten to ship me off somewhere else (trust me they’ve threatened me before). I’m always afraid to walk into the front door of my house because I know that what’ll be waiting for me is an angry Dad and problems I can never seem to fix. To top it all off I’m so insecure, I’m too fat, I have to much acne, nothing I wear looks good on me, my teeth aren’t white enough, my hair isn’t perfect, and I’m short. All this adds so much stress to my life. My home isn’t my safe place. My school isn’t my safe place. There is no where that is a safe place for me. I can’t take it anymore. I have so much anger, hurt, sadness, and pain built up inside me that I don’t think I can handle anymore. I’m not one of those kids that’s done drugs, or ever drank, but I have shoplifted many times and abused my body. I deal with the guilt from it all everyday, I feel like people look at me to only point out all the bad things about me. It kills me to know that nobody cares. I want to end it. A daily question in my mind is: When should I end it? Today? Tomorrow? Now? When I get home? I want all the bad thoughts to go away. All of them. But they won’t. I’m going to end it all. I want to end it all. But should I?