Everyday I just want to be with you and make you happy again. I don’t care if I’m depressed too. I want to help you first. You are beautiful, please I want to help you. You mean so much to me for you to feel this way. I know you hate yourself because I hate myself too. But I accepted what you told me, and I’m trying to be happy. But I feel like you just ignore what I say. I am just hopeless. I can’t do anything right. How do you help a person that doesn’t want to be helped ? How can I make him understand?
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Hey unicornmarfa…but that is the problem isn’t it? How do you help a person that doesn’t want to be helped? Well…the truth is you can’t…sorry. But you can help yourself…are you ready to get help?
Peace
Amakua
I want to get better but I feel like when I do, things just get worse. I feel like Im so use to my depression that its just part of me now. I feel like I cant be fully happy until he is truely happy. Because I honestly still love him..
Hey unicornmarfa…yes you can overidentify with your depression…I should know..haha But it can get better for you…with work and a sense of humour. As for others…not so much. I mean you can change a person…but only if they want to change. Little Ama story for you…sorry.
Last fall my friend, lover and partner of 15 years left. Then in December he called to tell me he was going home…since he is not from here…I asked him when he was coming back…and he informed me that he was going home to die. When the panic lessened…I told him in so many words…that if he was that unhappy…if he was in that much pain…if he could see no other alternative…that I loved him enough to help him die. Yup. But I explained that I thought it was unfair to leave me when he knew I had to stay…but in spite of my beliefs I would still help. And then he quit answering his phones and his email and went silent….ouch…but eventually he understood the sacrifice I was willing to make…and knew that he had been unfair to dump his shit in my lap…so he has promised that if he ever does decide to “go home” he will just go and not torture me further. So yeah…I couldn’t save him…so I offered to help him die….stoopid old woman…and I would have stuck to my word…and he knew it…but I would have paid for the rest of my life with my own guilt etc.
Sometimes love is not enough….until they learn to love themselves…and we learn to love ourselves…first and foremost.
Oh yeah…the good news….the bf is still alive and kicking and doing quite well…but we will never be together again…atleast not till we both get better. All good things come to he who waits…and I’m still waiting…hahaha
If you really love him…prove it…by being the best YOU you can be. If he really loves you…he would just want you to be healthy and happy…even without him.
Why is love soooo confusing?
Amakua
The story was very meaningful thank you! I know I just met you but it really helps knowing there is someone out there still waiting after such a long time. I want to be the best me and I feel better now, but I always feel worse later. I love him and hes my best friend. There was a time when we were together and we were each others first love. And its hard to forget your first love ya know? So its so hard seeing him in so much pain. But I do see how much it hurt to say you would help him take his life away. Thank you so much! -Martha