Lifeless and at the end of my rope…

Honestly, I have nothing left to live for. I suffer from severe psychosocial disabilities and their is no room for improvement for me. 27 years of emptiness. I have a shitty job where I’m underemployed, never had a girlfriend, got picked on for having a mental disability growing up and I’m tired of being depressed and lonely all of the time. I just want the pain to end and unfortunately death is the only way out of this misery. I almost broke down in tears the other night at my brothers dinner table the because I looked around and saw how happy everyone was and I said to myself I could never lead the life they have because I’m a mental midget. Becoming successful and having a great social life is important to me but I have neither. I can’t hold fluent conversations with people caus cause i suffer from alogia and anhedonia. People know I have a disability and look down on me like a piece of shit that I am. I don’t blame anyone for my unfortunate condition but I’m  absolutely horrible. It’s unfair for my parents to have to take care of me for the rest of my life…the last thing I want is to be a burden to someone. My mother is 57 and my father is 60 collecting social security disability from a stroke and cardiac arrest he had last summer from alcoholism. I don’t have the intelligence nor balls to commit suicide. Someone put a bullet in my head. I’ll finally be happy when I’m buried and laid to rest.