relappsed

so yestrday i relapesed i heard mmine and my exes song then i saw him i thought i had moved on i have a new bf that i thought i loved but now im not so sure after i saw my ex  i went home grabed my knife a just mutalled my body my legs, arms, and even my stomach i bleed so much till i passed out my gpa wasnt home i guess when he got home he thought i was asleep i done it so much till i passed out  i dont know what to do i wanna stay with the guy im with but if everything about my ex does this so me how to i handle it