Tempted to grab my razor

Hello Aperson,

I am not a cutter myself…but I do understand the nature of addiction to self harm…I just used other ways. You’ve done well to abstain for several months…would be a shame to backslide. During the last few months…did you learn any other coping skills? Instead of hurting yourself…is there not something else you could do to make yourself feel better? I dunno…it we were neighbours…I’d be right over with a leftie…sigh.

Hope things turn around for you…stay strong
Peace
Amakua

Hello jjgirl13,

I don’t believe I have had the pleasure of meeting you as yet. Sooo…who crapped in your cornflakes this morning? Ease up eh?

Peace
Amakua

Hey Aperson,

I don’t mind you asking…I love to yak…hahaha. Okay…I’m 51 years young…yeah right…I’m older than dirt. I have attempted suicide 7 times…and should have been successful every time…but here I am. My first attempt was before the age of 4…and the last was at the age of 40. Last fall…although I had been doing pretty well up til that point…my life fell in the toilet. My friend and partner of 15 years…left. I was told I was permanently disabled (alot of it from failed attempts…sigh) and could no longer work…I was sick and scared…and then my grandson died…and my son came home…and the cops had to be called…and …well you get the point eh? So by December…even I was all for trying to end it one more time…instead I sat down and googled suicide…and as they say…the rest is history.

I’ve been up and down for months…was almost homeless for a while…but things have settled down a bit and I have been working on making ME better. I have done quite well actually…patting myself on the back…hahaha…atleast I am still here. So either I am much much better….or i’m a hell of an actress…wink wink

I’m glad I could make you smile…if only for a moment. But the most important thing I learned over the centuries I have been here…hahaha…is you can’t change the past…only learn from it. Regret is a wasted emotion…unless it keeps you from doing something silly again. So when you screw up…forgive yourself…you were only doing the best you could with the situation as you understood it at the time….so learn to love yourself for a change…and move forward in your life….truly it isn’t all going to suck…and learn to forgive yourself when you fall. Simple

I really am proud of anyone who can stop long enough to think rationally during a crisis…it is a skill I am still working on…you seem to be a lot smarter than I am.

Hope things get better and you get better…you sound amazing.

Peace
Amakua