What have I done wrong?

Cac, I don’t know what your current living situation looks like, but if you’re still living with you parents/family, just know that it won’t last forever. Lots of people unfortunately grow up with emotionally or physically abusive family members and they always feel like they’ll never get away. Let’s shoot for the moon here and say you’ll live till 90. That’s at least 70+ more years to do whatever the hell you want once you get away from them.

You may not have a way out of there right now, so you have to keep yourself strong until you do. People only have power over us if we let them. You don’t have to accept anything they say as the truth. I understand it’s hard to feel good about yourself when everyone around you wants you to feel bad, but you are the master of your life, not them. YOU decide who you are. Tell yourself good things about yourself. Everyone has them, everyone has good qualities and you’re no different. When they say awful things to you, tell yourself something good. Don’t let their opinions be the foundation of your self confidence.

One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking they can make people love them. Some people may never love you, no matter how good you are and no matter how you treat them. This is not a reflection on you, this is a reflection on them. Don’t waste your life trying to gain the approval of people who are too unsatisfied with themselves to ever love someone else.

I’ve met a 60 year old man in a psych ward (I’ve tried to kill myself before) who was still trying to gain the acceptance of his father. His entire life revolved around trying to pry love out of the empty husk that was his father’s heart. Don’t let that be you. Decide to love yourself regardless of what anyone else thinks. You have value that isn’t determined by someone else’s opinion of you, even mine. You are your own person, and you decide what you’re worth.