The night is darkest just before the dawn. And my life had felt so fucking dark before that i thought the dawn had come. But recently i was proven wrong. Thoughts of dying have clouded my mind once again due to feeling worthless, pathetic, unnoticed, etc. But the thing thats different this time is that im not really feeling like killing myself. i just want to die. get hit by a bus or have a heart attack or some shit. i used to believe that one day i would be done with depression and leave it behind for good. but now im starting to think i was believing in a fallacy. is there anyone i can talk to? i would appreciate it if someone would respond.
14 comments
sinister,
well I’ll respond but I can’t help, I myself am stuck and I have no idea if or when all that shit will ever stop, I don’t think it will, think you just have to learn to deal with it.they say if you have nothing good to say don’t say anything at all, but that would be censorship, and that would depress me even more. Has anybody out there cured themselves I think that’s what’s this person is asking.
Maybe we’re all meant to deal with this shit on our own. I mean from my experience people don’t usually care when you’re feeling down
sinister ,
A lot of people don’t care, they only care about what’s going on in there little worlds, I think most people on here do, because most people on here are going through the same thing but different circumstances. I also hate to say this but a lot of people like to hear bad news just look at the media it seems that’s all they report. You have to trust the people you confide in or they work you over.
I relate to your post, sinister–even when I do not feel suicidal, I feel I have lost the ability to be innocent and happy again–I learn to settle for not being in pain and misery, and I now have the absence of suffering as my joy (such is life, maybe it will change for the better). Like rocketman, I have no cure or solution for human despair, depression, and loneliness. I learn doing something is almost always better than doing nothing, but even doing something does not always help, or at least, not enough. As for people caring, the ones have never experienced such depressive agony, cannot identify, understand, relate, and truly empathize, but there are people who can and do empathize and care…I find them at support groups, and even here, although here is a little tricky because it is online forum and communication is often delayed.
Sin. I get what you are saying and I know that of which you speak
There are more of us out there than the world recognizes. And I suppose that is the most inhumane aspect to all of this. The way people ignore the poor, the suffering, the lonely, the unemployed, homeless, no family, people – – – -I get it
@KeepBreathing4Now … doesn’t sound like you do, though.
that’s the inhumane part, ain’t it…. the heart is real.
Mine; my heart. Is like a spaceship in deep space right now. I got worm-holed into … the dead zone . . .
a space traveller’s ultimate nightmare….. “Time and space is gone. Yet, you’re still here”
damn i had a good ephipany going on, but i forgot it. ****!
i got another one though. Soul Age; ‘the cold is where the soul age’…..
Bitter Max,
not bad a nice touch. by the way what meds are you on? i wanta get me some!
Bitter – I don’t follow the path of mass indifference. I see the people others ignore. I see the homeless and unmedicated and sick walking the shadows of dumpsters and begging. Our gvt failed us. Our neighborhoods failed us – there are so many deep pathological takers out there. I am sick and fucking tired of each and every one of them
We all see it, and we are all tired, of it too. I guess the real question is.. ‘Then, what path is it that you follow?”