I guess this is an invasion of privacy, but it was the only way I could think to get ahold of you, and then I got nosey and started reading. And now that I read everything you wrote while I THOUGHT things were going well and ON MY BIRTHDAY, I regret that decision. I apologize for what happened, but obviously things weren’t panning out if you were saying things like “I’m done” and whatever on this sight, pretty much displaying your feelings of hatred towards me for the whole internet to see. Wtf? I really liked you, I really did. I NEVER cheated on you, and I didn’t break up with you for my ex.And I sure as fuck NEVER badmouthed you while we were together. But reread all your posts about me, you were thinking about ending it WELL BEFORE I ever did. You don’t think that I couldn’t tell? I could tell you were losing interest in me, I could tell you were fed up of me, and bored of me, I’m not an idiot. You were never excited to see me anymore, you no longer wanted to do anything special with me. You kept making promises you couldn’t keep, and you were distant as fuck. You weren’t happy with me, and I knew that. You obviously knew that. I was absolutely crazy for you. I was. I appreciated you SO MUCH as a person, and you treated me so amazing…at first…then that started to fade and you started being weird, idk why. I guess I should have tried to figure out why, maybe something was wrong, but I just took it as a general that you just weren’t interested in me, “tired of me” and obviously I was right. The funny thing is, you’re the one that’s hurt, and you’re the one that hates ne, but I doubt you miss me, and I doubr you wonder what if? Like I do. I have questioned my decision of breaking up with you so many times, and I have felt so shitty and guilty…I’ve missed you, I really have. But then I come on here, and I realize all the good feelings you had for me, I guess were fake. And I’m the shitty person? It WAS shitty for me to call my ex the same day we broke up, and I apologize, that was not something premedtated, that was just impulsive. You guys getting in that fight though, you brought that on yourself….but I wish that would have never happened, because I’m sure that adds to your hatred of ne. Look, I just wish you would forgive me, I wish that there was a way you could move past this …you became one of my best friends. I really did enjoy our closeness, and I am so so so sorry. I wish you would stop hating me, I wish we could have a face to face conversation about this…but you’re so stubborn. Why? I wish we could see eachother at work and atleast be cool. I’m not such a *****, and I’m definetly not as tough as I made myself out to be you know. Everytime I look at you I want to say something, but I can’t. In the breakroom that day, it was so hard for me to even talk to you. My grandpa ended up dying the other day…I WATCHED him die in the hospital. I watched my grandma kiss him on the forehead as he took his last agonizing breathe. She spent the whole day talking about him and when they met in middle school, how they got married in highschool, and how cute she thought he looked even though he was lying there unconcious, dying. it was by far, THE SADDEST THING I have ever in my life witnessed. You know how I said I wouldn’t cry? Well, I did, I cried way more than anyone in that room. I wrote him a letter and had my mom read it because I couldn’t get through it. And a thought I had is how I want a love like the love my grandma and granpda had.
I know you don’t care, about any of this, I’m sure you want me to leave you alone. And I get it, you don’t have to respond, you don’t have to like me. But I just wanted to let you know that its not like I’m a stonecold *****, breaking up with you was not something that was just easy for me to do. And I do miss you, and when I had that thought in the hospital about wanting that kind of love, it made me think of you for a brief moment. At times, I genuinely felt like you cared, and appreciated, and UNDERSTOOD me. And that’s rare to find, ya know? I never feel understood. Why would I? I’m kind of batshit crazy. Right? I probably changed the tone of this letter a few times now due to my crazy mood changingness. Anyway….I guess the point of all this is to once again, apologize and let you know, you aren’t as disposable as you think you are. I’m regretful, and I wonder what if? You were and are a catch, you need to realize that about yourself though if you ever want a lasting relationship. I genuinely care about you, if you EVER need anything I am here for you. I really wish I hadn’t hurt you, and I wish I wasn’t such an impulsive idiot. Just so you know, I valued everyday we spent together, and everything you had to offer me. I hope someday you can forgive me, atleast. But I really wish we could be friends, but that’s probably too much to ask. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope things are going well for you. Take care of yourself. I miss you.
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Why?
I guess this is an invasion of privacy, but it was the only way I could think to get ahold of you, and then I got nosey and started reading. And now that I read everything you wrote while I THOUGHT things were going well and ON MY BIRTHDAY, I regret that decision. I apologize for what happened, but obviously things weren’t panning out if you were saying things like “I’m done” and whatever on this sight, pretty much displaying your feelings of hatred towards me for the whole internet to see. Wtf? I really liked you, I really did. I NEVER cheated on you, and I didn’t break up with you for my ex.And I sure as fuck NEVER badmouthed you while we were together. But reread all your posts about me, you were thinking about ending it WELL BEFORE I ever did. You don’t think that I couldn’t tell? I could tell you were losing interest in me, I could tell you were fed up of me, and bored of me, I’m not an idiot. You were never excited to see me anymore, you no longer wanted to do anything special with me. You kept making promises you couldn’t keep, and you were distant as fuck. You weren’t happy with me, and I knew that. You obviously knew that. I was absolutely crazy for you. I was. I appreciated you SO MUCH as a person, and you treated me so amazing…at first…then that started to fade and you started being weird, idk why. I guess I should have tried to figure out why, maybe something was wrong, but I just took it as a general that you just weren’t interested in me, “tired of me” and obviously I was right. The funny thing is, you’re the one that’s hurt, and you’re the one that hates ne, but I doubt you miss me, and I doubr you wonder what if? Like I do. I have questioned my decision of breaking up with you so many times, and I have felt so shitty and guilty…I’ve missed you, I really have. But then I come on here, and I realize all the good feelings you had for me, I guess were fake. And I’m the shitty person? It WAS shitty for me to call my ex the same day we broke up, and I apologize, that was not something premedtated, that was just impulsive. You guys getting in that fight though, you brought that on yourself….but I wish that would have never happened, because I’m sure that adds to your hatred of ne. Look, I just wish you would forgive me, I wish that there was a way you could move past this …you became one of my best friends. I really did enjoy our closeness, and I am so so so sorry. I wish you would stop hating me, I wish we could have a face to face conversation about this…but you’re so stubborn. Why? I wish we could see eachother at work and atleast be cool. I’m not such a *****, and I’m definetly not as tough as I made myself out to be you know. Everytime I look at you I want to say something, but I can’t. In the breakroom that day, it was so hard for me to even talk to you. My grandpa ended up dying the other day…I WATCHED him die in the hospital. I watched my grandma kiss him on the forehead as he took his last agonizing breathe. She spent the whole day talking about him and when they met in middle school, how they got married in highschool, and how cute she thought he looked even though he was lying there unconcious, dying. it was by far, THE SADDEST THING I have ever in my life witnessed. You know how I said I wouldn’t cry? Well, I did, I cried way more than anyone in that room. I wrote him a letter and had my mom read it because I couldn’t get through it. And a thought I had is how I want a love like the love my grandma and granpda had.
I know you don’t care, about any of this, I’m sure you want me to leave you alone. And I get it, you don’t have to respond, you don’t have to like me. But I just wanted to let you know that its not like I’m a stonecold *****, breaking up with you was not something that was just easy for me to do. And I do miss you, and when I had that thought in the hospital about wanting that kind of love, it made me think of you for a brief moment. At times, I genuinely felt like you cared, and appreciated, and UNDERSTOOD me. And that’s rare to find, ya know? I never feel understood. Why would I? I’m kind of batshit crazy. Right? I probably changed the tone of this letter a few times now due to my crazy mood changingness. Anyway….I guess the point of all this is to once again, apologize and let you know, you aren’t as disposable as you think you are. I’m regretful, and I wonder what if? You were and are a catch, you need to realize that about yourself though if you ever want a lasting relationship. I genuinely care about you, if you EVER need anything I am here for you. I really wish I hadn’t hurt you, and I wish I wasn’t such an impulsive idiot. Just so you know, I valued everyday we spent together, and everything you had to offer me. I hope someday you can forgive me, atleast. But I really wish we could be friends, but that’s probably too much to ask. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope things are going well for you. Take care of yourself. I miss you.