The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Before i do something stupid i just need to get this off my chest……..i dont know why but all through out middle school i was ”the boy who cried wolf” i use to just cut for attention i dont really know exactly why i did that but it was just plain stupid& thanks to that i have seemed to lost the one person who truly understood my idiotic ways. It haunts my soul everyday to think i could do something so unbelievably stupid & i actually hurt my friend just cause i was a dumbass seeking for attention.Then again before you judge me i sometimes did it cause i felt worthless.Now that i am in high school i see the world in a different color & not in a good way cause i have seemed to be getting myself into drugs. Im not really proud of itbut i need a way to escape my thoughts cause if i dont control it my suicidal thoughts are bound t kill me.Hopefully i dont get myself addicted to those drugs. Im stupid i know but what can you do when all your mistakes seem to be piled on you & they dont seem to let you breathe.